transitioning...

I feel like keeping that word in my everyday vocabulary will somehow make this process easier, smoother, help it sink in more? I'm not quite sure what I think that magic word will do, but however it's playing itself out in my everyday life, I'm realizing that it's taking a lot more time than I expected. But then I wonder what I was expecting...if I seem a bit confused, it's because I am.

I've been back in North Carolina for a month, and to my family in Guatemala, you were right, it is just NOW hitting me that I won't be on my way back there soon. I think my heart is starting to catch up to my mind, which usually takes a bit of time. I've been blessed to have spent a significant about of time with Doug since I've been back, we're still 2 hours away from each other, but at least it's not 2 different countries! In my mind I think that I'm going through all the right "motions" of moving back, getting a job to help bring in income since it's more expensive to live in the states, obtaining a way for people to get ahold of me (yes I have a cell phone again :), plugging into a church community, starting to make friends, trying to get my own place in the next few months...but something about it all just feels so.....................different.

And then I remember that it is different, I shouldn't be the same as I was before living in Guatemala. Living in the comfort of the states may never be the same again and I have to be ok with that. I'm realizing that it's taking just as much, if not more of my faith to come back, as it took to go. I know this is where God wants me at this time and I'll keep loving others the same whether I'm serving in a nice restaurant, or walking in the ghettos of La Limonada. It's a continuing process of taking what I've seen in Guatemala and being able to hold onto that and apply it to what God has for me here. I think it will always be a continual learning process...

So I guess transition of some sort will always be a part of life, and I guess I'd better get used to that.