such a medicine is love.

family

2010-07-21T14:52:00.002-04:00

This past week I was able to spend time with a wonderful family up in Blowing Rock, NC. Lots of laughs and great times as we captured 3 generations of ladies while the gentleman snuck away during picture time. Here's a sneak peak of my favorites so far, more on the way!

Back in the saddle again...

2010-07-16T13:35:00.005-04:00

Yes, I know this is a different blog post than what you're probably used to. (If anyone even reads this anymore because it's been SO long since I've posted!) It's been almost exactly 5 months since I've been back from Guatemala, and while it's been a big roller coaster of adjusting at times, I am so blessed and thankful of where God has me right now.

I think I needed some decompression time to process everything I saw and experienced in La Limonada this last year, and I know that will be an ongoing, probably lifelong journey. Getting back into photography as I've always known it has been a bit of a challenge after photographing life in Guatemala for the past year, which is obviously very different than weddings and portraits. :)

This past weekend I had the perfect opportunity to get my feet wet again with my awesome friend's engagement pictures. Thanks H&C for making it so fun and easy to catch the love between you two, and for allowing me to realize again just how much I love the gift of capturing that! Enjoy!!!

transitioning...

2010-03-19T12:34:00.003-04:00

I feel like keeping that word in my everyday vocabulary will somehow make this process easier, smoother, help it sink in more? I'm not quite sure what I think that magic word will do, but however it's playing itself out in my everyday life, I'm realizing that it's taking a lot more time than I expected. But then I wonder what I was expecting...if I seem a bit confused, it's because I am.

I've been back in North Carolina for a month, and to my family in Guatemala, you were right, it is just NOW hitting me that I won't be on my way back there soon. I think my heart is starting to catch up to my mind, which usually takes a bit of time. I've been blessed to have spent a significant about of time with Doug since I've been back, we're still 2 hours away from each other, but at least it's not 2 different countries! In my mind I think that I'm going through all the right "motions" of moving back, getting a job to help bring in income since it's more expensive to live in the states, obtaining a way for people to get ahold of me (yes I have a cell phone again :), plugging into a church community, starting to make friends, trying to get my own place in the next few months...but something about it all just feels so.....................different.

And then I remember that it is different, I shouldn't be the same as I was before living in Guatemala. Living in the comfort of the states may never be the same again and I have to be ok with that. I'm realizing that it's taking just as much, if not more of my faith to come back, as it took to go. I know this is where God wants me at this time and I'll keep loving others the same whether I'm serving in a nice restaurant, or walking in the ghettos of La Limonada. It's a continuing process of taking what I've seen in Guatemala and being able to hold onto that and apply it to what God has for me here. I think it will always be a continual learning process...

So I guess transition of some sort will always be a part of life, and I guess I'd better get used to that.

it's about that time...

2010-02-16T17:47:00.003-05:00

Yesterday morning I sat with all the teachers and told them just how honored I am to have worked along side them this past year. Their sacrifice and selflessness has taught me SO much. I've been working hard to get as much done before I leave as possible, and also trying to soak it all in at the same time, sometimes it feels like a whirlwind and sometimes it feels like life is moving in slow motion.

I know there is so much here that I'm going to miss that I don't even realize right now, and I also believe there is so much that God has waiting for me in the states that I have no idea about yet. That excites me and scares me all at the same time, the unknown. But that's where I choose to trust and know that I'm following a plan so much bigger than myself, and in that, I find peace.

2 days and I'm North Carolina bound!!!

pure joy

2010-02-10T12:18:00.002-05:00

As I'm getting ready for my departure back to the states in 8 days, I have been feverently working on getting all the new students pictures taken and up on the website. I always take a few of each student to make sure I get one that really captures their personality. As I'm going through them this morning, these 2 shots brought a smile to my face, and I thought they'd bring some joy to share them as well.

Feliz dia! :)

Getting ready for the next chapter...

2010-02-01T10:49:00.003-05:00

It's weird to think about not being here. This has become life...living in community, loving over 300 children on a daily basis, keeping them connected to their sponsor in the states, taking more pictures of this community than I know what to do with...

What started as a dream and a passion over 5 years ago to live and work here in Guatemala, has come to pass and is now moving onto the next chapter. What that entails, I have no idea at this point, but that's part of the journey, isn't it? I know this passion in me will stay for this community, I'll just be living it out in a different way I believe. I've been praying for months about the Child Sponsorship program and what it will look like after I leave, and God has brought an amazing answer for that.

Our close friend Rebecca who lived and worked with Tita for 2 months a few years ago, will be moving to Guatemala in May to take over the CS responsibilities for the Guatemalan end. I couldn't be more excited about this! She's got such a love and passion for these kids and this community and I'm thrilled that she'll be becoming a full-time part of our team. It's hard to think about letting go of being here, but I know it's God's work and not mine, and I'm just thankful to have been a part of it up until this point. And I know it's my time to step out, and Rebecca's time to step in.

Because this program has grown so tremendously in the past year, there is need for more of us to run it. So while Rebecca comes on here in Guatemala, I will continue to run the program stateside with Cherie. I'm looking forward to helping it grow in the states and allowing God to use me to raise more awareness in whatever way he sees fit.

2 more weeks here in Guatemala, and then onto the next chapter...

Welcome Rebecca!!! :)

there's a 5 year old in the house!

2010-01-11T16:23:00.005-05:00

Wow...where has the time gone? I met Nathan when he was just turning 2 years old, and fell in love with that little man. Fast-forward 3 years, he's now been living with us for 11 months, he just turned 5, and he started kindergarden today!!!

He is definitely not a morning person so I was a bit nervous about the 5:45 am wake up call I had to give him...but after sleepily asking where we were going and, me telling him it was the first day of school, he excitedly jumped out of bed and asked me to help him pick out his clothes. That was easy! I put him on the bus this morning with his new backpack and couldn't have been happier.

I can't believe how fast time has flown with him!

Enjoying a birthday picnic in the park in Antigua.

Pizza party!

On the way home from the bus stop on the first day of kindergarden.

a time of refreshment...

2010-01-07T16:44:00.006-05:00

Ahhhhhhh....what a breath of fresh air that was. I can almost taste the refreshment that this past month brought. Since our schools in La Limonada are closed for the month of December I spent that time in the states with family and friends and it was exactly what my soul needed. Being away from loved ones for such an extended period of times comes with its challenges, but being reunited makes all those months of being apart melt away. Life and time bring changes in everyones lives, but being able to pick up friendships right where we left off is such a treasure to me.

So often I found my mind wandering to the children and community of La Limonada, as well as my Guatemalan family, wondering how everyone was doing and hoping that God was bringing them peace and refreshment as well. I am coming to realize that in my life wherever God has me, there will always be those that I love and miss in another place. And I'm coming to realize that I'm ok with that. Someone once told me to "always be open to enlarging your circle of love" and that has stuck with me. I find joy in just how much God keeps expanding my heart to love and with that comes having my heart broken here almost daily and being willing to leave pieces of it here even when I go. Somehow He keeps giving me love to give away and filling me up even more in the process...

{Intense love does not measure,

it just gives.

-mother teresa}

I arrived back in Guatemala on Tuesday and will be here for 6 weeks. February 18th is my official return date to the states to start rebuilding life there. It seems a bit strange to think about since my life has been here for the past year, but I know this is my time to let go of this chapter. And by that I don't mean let go of the love and passion I have for this community, that will forever be in my heart. I mean being willing to pass this onto the next person that God has in store for this role here in Guatemala and step into the role He has for me in the states. I feel peace about the timing to go back and am very much looking forward to being in the same state as Doug again! :)

These next several weeks will be filled to the brim but I will do my best to keep updated.

I almost forgot...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Getting out for one last hike before I headed back to Guatemala.

Doug and I got to spend some great time in Chicago with my sister and brother-in-law.

Ringing in the New Year!!!

Spending some time together in beautiful Boone, NC.

joyful & broken hearted

2009-11-29T20:48:00.003-05:00

As things have finally slowed down here, I've actually had time to reflect and process all that happened for these kids at the Art Camp last week. Two words keep coming up in my mind, joyful & broken-hearted (I guess that's technically 3 words.) Kids came alive last week when they were given the chance to completely be themselves...to laugh...to play...to sing...to dance. Kids who I've never even seen smile I watched run and laugh. I watched parts of their hearts being healed through expressing themselves, I feel like I don't even have words for what God did in them last week. It was so fair for them, so necessary for their young lives that have already been through so much. There was so much joy in their eyes.

I have a tough time just letting them walk right back into the situations they have no choice but to live in. I know I can't control that, and this is where I have to put my complete trust in what God is doing in them. I have to believe his love is transforming them. I have to believe that

such a medicine is love. Part of me has joy right now, part of me feels broken-hearted. I'm not quite sure how that's possible at the same time, but I feel like all I can do is let God pick up the pieces of my heart that love these kids more than I ever thought possible.

Much to be thankful for

2009-11-26T16:37:00.004-05:00

As I sit here in Guatemala and think about this American holiday that's happening today, it makes me realize even more just how much we have to be thankful for, EVERYDAY. Today especially I am thankful for the opportunity these kids have had this week at the Arts Camp. It has changed them, healed parts of their hearts, and given them the opportunity to come alive again, and it's amazing and honoring to be a part of.

at times...

2009-11-02T12:28:00.003-05:00

At times my pace is slower than usual,

other times I feel like I'll never catch up with what I need to.

At times I feel like what I give is enough,

other times I feel like I could never do enough for the suffering here.

At times I feel the need to understand the way God is working,

other times I fully know that I will never be able to wrap my mind around the fullness of Him.

At times I just want life to be easy and comfortable,

other times I realize the hardships we go through ultimately teach us very necessary lessons.

This morning we as a household took some time and talked about what it really means to suffer for Christ. What is looks like for us personally where we're at in life right now, as well as what it looks like for those that we love on every day in La Limonada. It was a very needed reminder for me of why God has called us here at this time...

1 peter 3:17

"It is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil."

romans 8:18

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

the excitement of a new season...

2009-10-14T13:34:00.006-04:00

Greetings from Guatemala!

Wow, I really can't believe it's the middle of October already! In the states I know it's fall with pumpkins, cooler weather, leaves changing, the smell of campfires in the air, and the excitement of a new season coming on. I can say that I feel that here, the excitement of a new season coming on, just with Central American weather instead of cooler weather, and YES I do miss fall in the states. :)

The summer months brought many teams from many different places, which meant many new friends, and many awesome hearts pouring into the children and community of La Limonada. Hosting teams has been such an awesome privilege to serve alongside those who are willing to sacrifice their time, comfort, and finances and give everything they've got for the time they're here. I fully know the feeling of having your heart broken for La Limonada and leaving a BIG part of yourself here. It happened to me almost exactly 5 years ago on my first short-term missions trip here.

With the teams slowing down a bit now in these months, it has given me more time to focus on the Child Sponsorship program that I'm in charge of here in Guatemala. I've spent the last 8 months getting that up and running while updating sponsors with what's going on with their child, through recent photos and prayer needs. With over 350 children between both of our schools in La Limonada it's proven to be a BIG job! I can't say enough just how much it means to these children to know that someone cares about them, is praying for them, and takes the time to write to them. It gives them hope, when so many of them live in what feels like hopeless situations at times.

When the decision to come back here in the beginning of 2009 was made, I really felt pulled to commit to at least a year in being here, with an open-ended ticket. As the end of the year is approaching, I have been spending much time praying and seeking guidance about where God wants me, and when he wants me there. I do feel like there will be a time to be back in the states to continue to be the main contact liaison for Child Sponsorship, as well as raise awareness in various outlets for the work being done here in La Limonada. I also believe it's important to be able to pour into my relationship with Doug first hand as we're moving forward. Being long distance for this long has been a big challenge, but it has allowed us to grow in ways we might not have seen such a need for, and given us the opportunity to depend on God even more for the strength and base of our relationship. Thank goodness for Skype! :)

At this point I have enough support to be here until the end of January, and I am so blown away and thankful that a full year has been provided for. Your generosity and sacrifice for seeing the value of the work God is doing here in La Limonada, that I am so privileged to be a part of, is something that I am eternally grateful for. I will be going back to the states for the month of December to see family and friends and spend some time refreshing before I come back to Guatemala in the beginning of January. After that at this point, I don't have a return date to the states. I can not tell you how much I appreciate your prayers and encouragement and if supporting me financially as well is something you would like to consider, you can do that in the following way on our secure Lemonade donation page:

https://app.etapestry.com/hosted/LemonadeInternational/OnlineDonation.html
Under the "Fund" button you can select
"Support a team member" and then click on my name.

For those who are supporting me monthly and would consider to do so even after the year commitment so I can continue this work, know that I am deeply grateful. Above any financial donations, your prayers are THE most important thing and I am SO thankful for you. I continue to believe that God will provide for the work that he has called me to. I can't begin to go into the depths of what God is doing here through email, so I hope to one day talk to you about it in person! When I have the time I am continuing to update my blog as well as the Lemonade blog with recent stories and photos, sort of like a living newsletter. Check back for updates!
http://www.lemonadeinternational.org/blog/

Thank you for your love, support, prayers and encouragement. It means so much!

Such a medicine is Love,
Leah

some time with mi madre...

2009-10-05T15:10:00.003-04:00

My mom has now been here for a week and today is her birthday actually! (I won't tell you how old she is. ;) I know that this time has been so purposeful for both of us...

Here are a few pictures from the the volcano "Pacaya" that we all hiked together on Saturday.

Grateful...

2009-09-30T14:08:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I feel like God allows really big things to be put on my heart that I need to pray for, and I think that's a very necessary thing, to dream BIG. But in dreaming big, sometimes I forget to pray for what seems like little things, even though they're not little, they're just different. 2 things lately have reminded me that God gives such great gifts exactly when He knows we need them...

For a few years I've been having lower back pain, sometimes it's bearable, sometimes I have to grit my teeth just to get through the day, refusing to let back pain stop me from picking up so many children that need to be hugged. Lately, it has gotten pretty severe and while stretching as much as possible and praying for the pain to be eased, nothing seemed to be helping. So a new mattress has been purchased, and while that may usually not seem like a big deal, it has brought much needed relief to my tired body. Good thing we bought the mattress when we did, because that day some type of virus wrecked havoc on my body and I spent 3 straight days in bed in extreme pain. I joked with Tita, that if I was going to die, at least it would be on a comfortable mattress. :)

Before I left to come here last January I was able to get my teeth cleaned only to find out I had 4 cavities that needed to be filled, costing over $1,000 that I just could not afford. My dentist kept encouraging me to come back to get them filled, and I told him, I'm sorry, I just don't have that kind of money right now. Since then, it has crossed my mind a few times and I'll say a short prayer "God it's important for me to keep my body healthy, please provide at some point in one way or another for me to get this taken care of." The other day for some reason Tita and I were talking about our teeth and I mentioned that and she told me "Oh, there's a dentist coming to work with us in 2 weeks, and I'm going to tell him that you're going to be the first person to get their teeth worked on, and not only is it not $1,000, it's FREE!" I had to laugh at how God provides in ways I would have never thought...

The part I was most excited about though was telling the woman on the street Julia (a few posts below) that she can now get her rotten teeth pulled because the dentist she asked for is coming...

Mi Mama!

2009-09-24T15:11:00.003-04:00

My mom is coming here to visit on Monday for 2 weeks and I'm super excited!!! I'm a bit nervous for her since this is her first time traveling out of the country alone, but I gave her as much info as I could about everything that she needs to do to go through customs etc. so I'm assuming everything will go smoothly. At least that's what I'm praying for! :)

I'm very thankful that we'll have this time together and I think it'll be really good for her to jump into life here with us for those 2 weeks. There's always something to do in the household as well and I know she really enjoys helping. Kids to play with, dogs to pet, walks to take...all things I know she enjoys. I have to remember to take a break and sloooooooooooow down and really soak in this time with her.

I'm going to try to take a few days off so we can do some things together like Antigua and Pana Jachel, but the thing I'm most excited about is the fact that she gets to see and be a part of the work God is doing in La Limonada. Keep her in your prayers and I'll make sure to post some pictures when she's here!

It's not enough just to talk about love...

2009-09-22T22:25:00.004-04:00

On the norm I would say I'm a pretty joyful person. I laugh A LOT and usually pretty loudly. Just ask anyone who's spent about 5 minutes with me. There's not much I can't find some type of joy in...but some days, like today, it just feels like too much. The burden deep in my heart for this community...

Today Tita and I were painting in Mandarina, putting the finishing coat on to protect the beautiful mural; a lot of the time we were painting in silence, thinking...praying...interceding for this community. I was thinking of all the children that I love so very deeply here, and how lately I feel like more and more that light in their soul that I once saw is dimming, or even burning out. The injustice here, for these children at times is so overwhelming, almost crippling to even think about. The years and cycles of abuse that they endure because their parents endured it, because their grandparents endured it...sometimes I just get so angry that this is what they have to grow up in, it's so unfair for them. They didn't choose this kind of life, but they have to endure so much pain.

You won't often hear me say "God said this or that to me" because I believe he speaks to me softly, but today this conversation with him was just to overpowering for me not to write it down...

"God DO something about this injustice. I know you can!"

"I am.

You are my hands and feet."

"Rescue these children, protect them, redeem the light in their souls from what they've already been through, it's so painful to watch. I want to be able to do more, I just can't."

"You have NO idea of the eternal impact that is happening there.

TRUST that I feel this pain.

TRUST that I have a plan.

TRUST that it's worth what I have called your life to."

I am painfully and humbly reminded that I may never see the full impact of what God is doing in La Limonada, of what he is using us for, but I do TRUST him. Even in days that feel so unjust for this community. I know there are many that have come here, felt the burden for this community, left a part of their heart here, and continue to pray for those here. So in knowing that, that's what I'm asking for...it's the most powerful thing you could do.

"Let us not become weary in doing good,

for at the proper time we will reap

a harvest if we do not give up."

gal. 6:9

A theme verse for my life...

"Leah! Un foto!"

2009-09-18T18:48:00.005-04:00

We've joked lately that "un foto" is my last name because everywhere I walk in La Limonada that's what we hear, "Leah! Un foto!" I'm known as the gringa with the big smile who always has her camera. And I'm completely ok with that...

Walking the streets, playing with the kids...

I think I get as excited as the kids do when they get letters from their sponsors and get to write back...

There's something about the sky here, the clouds seem bigger and it's just more blue...

We pass this grandma everyday who's always sitting on the stoop...

The photos that are captured when kids run at your camera...

Julia who stopped me on the street asking me when another dentist team is coming. She wants her rotten teeth pulled...

Kids are kids anywhere you go...

Capturing a reading moment...

Her smile lights up my day...

Sisters...

On our way home after a long day...

Enriching life...

2009-09-12T12:05:00.007-04:00

So many of our days here include visiting people's homes in the community who are just waiting for someone to come and talk with them, pray with them, laugh with them. I can honestly say there is almost ALWAYS laughter involved no matter how dark the situation seems at times. This week someone shared with us, that they see our team "brining a culture of joy to such a dark community." Tita said she had never "flavorated" it before, and it was so nice to have someone put words to what our hearts feel for this community. ("flavorate" will now be added to the English dictionary according to Tita. :)

I have been so fortunate to grow up knowing all 4 of my grandparents, and had the amazing privilege of having my 2 great grandparents in my life up until I was in college. Their wisdom, life stories, history, and love for their families, has left me sitting there with them SO grateful and blessed to call them my family. They have poured into my life in a way that I don't know I'll ever know the depths of. Being away for this long I miss my family dearly...

Back in March as we were walking through the community a lady stopped us and said "there's two oldies (as we affectionately call them) that live all they way down those steps, that have no one and really need someone to visit them." So we wove our way down the stairs to the entrance to their home only to walk down even more stairs once we got inside, they live as far down as you can go in La Limonada, before ending up in the sewage river. Marcelina and Braulio warmly welcomed us as they never have visitors and hardly ever leave the room they live in. He has lost his eyesight, and she can't walk very well. Braulio tells us "she's my eyes, and I'm her cane."

A few weeks ago on a visit Tita asked them if they knew Jesus and Marcelina replied "no, we didn't know anything about that until you started visiting us" and that day this couple gave their hearts and lives to God. We have continued to visit them as often as possible, I think we all have such a deep love for their sweet, soft spirits. When I step into their home I feel like I'm visiting my Guatemalan grandparents. I absolutely love spending time with them and they bring a richness to my life. I know they wait for us to come visit, but I honestly can't wait to visit them as well.

We walked them up out of their home the other day to come to the school so Marcelina could talk to Priscila, our psycologist at Mandarina. She told us she had so many things inside that she needed to deal with, that felt heavy for her and she needed to get them out. Marcelina spent time talking and praying with Priscila, and Braulio spent time talking and praying with Juan Francisco, another one of our amazing teachers. Afterwards as Kate was walking them back home, they told us, "we feel so much better, thank you for letting us talk and pray with you, such a burden has been lifted, and now I can die in peace." Selfishly that hurt my heart because I don't want them to leave anytime soon, I love spending time with them so much. But in my spirit I know it's a beautiful thing to feel God's peace within you, and I am so thankful that these 2 amazing souls have found that.

In Matthew, Jesus says "...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." In this work in La Limonada I often wonder, is it me God is using to help "one of the least of these" or is it these people who are helping me? So often I feel like they pour so much more into my life than I could ever possibly give to them. I think it can be a beautiful combination of both...

One down, one to go...

2009-09-09T22:34:00.005-04:00

It is definitely not as easy to leave this country as it is to come here. That is if you're from here. Not only do you need a passport, you also need a visa to travel to the states, and that's the hard part. Tita has tried several times to get a visa for the states and for one reason or another she's been denied every time. To me it seems completely random whether the embassy decides to approve you or not, to them, I'm sure they have some type of system.

As you know, Monica cares for Grace pretty much full time and it's been amazing having her as such a staple part of our family. I can't imagine our household without her little squeeky shoes, without her laugh, and now without how much more she's been talking. She's got "no, no, no" down pretty well and now we're trying to teach her "si, si, si".

Grace's mom has given Monica permission to take Grace to the states for the month of December for vacation. The 3 of them went together a few weeks ago to get Grace's passport, you should see her little picture, it's adorable! Now all Monica needs is the visa, and she has the appointment on Sept. 23rd with the embassy. Please pray with us that they approve it so Monica can travel with Grace. If it doesn't get approved, obviously Monica will not travel without her, and I know she badly wants to visit friends in the states. And of course I can't wait for her to come to NC to see me while I'm there. :)

I'll let you know what happens on the 23rd!

Andi se fue...

2009-08-31T17:33:00.004-04:00

I have to be honest, I'm getting a bit tired of that blog title "Tita se fue, Inna se fue, Andi se fue", too many people are leaving! I have to remind myself though that the pain of saying goodbye to those that I hold close to my heart, is worth it because I would rather have them in my life than to have never of met them. I will deal with saying goodbye...

Yesterday we took Andi and his sister Noemi (who was visiting here for the last 2 weeks) to the airport to say goodbye. I'm hoping it will be only "see you later." They should be home by now from their 13 hour flight back to Switzerland.................sigh......................wow Andi, we miss you A LOT already. You brought such a light spirited element of fun to our household with your constant singing, your playing, your heart to serve, your laughter, your willingness to live with a house full of women! :) It's a bit hard to imagine our family without you because the 6 months that you were here seem like a lifetime. I laugh thinking about us finding out you were here in the country, ready to come work with us, and we didn't even know you were coming! Wow, how much God has allowed all of our hearts to bond for his work here in La Limonada since then. I feel honored to have had the chance to serve here with you, to learn from your patient spirit, and to listen to Hillsong more than I think I ever have before, ha. :)

I pray that wherever God leads you, you will continue to follow. Thank you for sharing a part of your life and heart with us and the community of La Limonada. Gracie misses you too, she keeps saying "Anni? Anni?"

Hope you're home safe in Switzerland, feel free to send more chocolate our way!

she's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!

2009-08-29T20:04:00.003-04:00

Life here in Guatemala is just NOT the same without Tita here. It's too quiet. There are not enough laughs when she's gone (although there are still many!), she just brings a quality to life like no one else can. Welcome back, we missed youuuuuuuu!!!

"Tita se fue"

2009-08-22T18:40:00.007-04:00

For the first time in over 20 years, Tita is taking a break. (Gasp! I know right, she's got more energy than I think humanly possible and she's twice my age!) She's been visiting her daughter, son-in-law and 3 grandkids in Columbia for the past week and a half and from what we have heard from her, she's absolutely loving spending that time with them, and continuing to love everyone she comes in contact with. You can't help but see Jesus in her. I know there is MUCH purpose in her taking this time away, being with her family, and I'm very thankful that she's had the opportunity to do that.

We as a household and ministry have continued on while she's been gone and I really have a whole new respect for what she does, what God has given her to be in charge of, and just how much her phone rings! Kate has been doing an amazing job at being the "jefacita" (the boss. :) We keep saying "she's only been gone for 4 days? It feels like a month!" So much happens here in just one day and with a few big unexpected things happening while she's been away, it has really given us the opportunity to pray more together...depend on God even more than usual...and be pushed beyond ourselves to step into what God has intended for us for these 2 weeks of Tita being gone. There's a sweetness in it all...

I have to honestly say though that this has probably been the most exhausting week and a half that I think I've ever experienced physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally...there have been a few nights this week where I just had to go to bed at 7 because I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. That and getting up 45 minutes earlier than usual to take Moshi to the bus stop I think catches up with me. My 2 cups of coffee in the morning were just not cutting it this week. :) God has continued to give me the necessary rest and refreshment that I need (even if my household has to force me to take it, thanks Kate!) And I have SO enjoyed my times with Moshi in the morning, throwing Maggs in his bed to wake him up, tackling him to make sure he puts his cream on his feet, making him breakfast, laughing as we take Maggs to the bus stop with us...there have been so many moments that make me so thankful to be a part of this family.

Inna was here with us from the Ukraine for the past 4 weeks and Kate and I took her to the airport this morning and had to say goodbye. That was tough, she brought so much encouragement and light with her to not only our household but La Limonada as well. I do believe God will allow our paths to cross again someday, and I pray that it's for the work here although I would like to visit the Ukraine someday. (wink, wink ;) We miss you already Inna, I made myself a cup of tea today and it just wasn't the same without making one for you...

Last weekend we spent an afternoon in Antigua together, Moshi and Nathan were cracking me up trying to eat the bubbles that someone was blowing...

the beauty of community...

2009-08-20T21:34:00.004-04:00

To most everyone who's heard of La Limonada, it's known as a very dangerous, dark place. And it can be, as well as any other place. But to me, in a place that is known for it's darkness, I believe it can be known for it's light. God allows me to see that in little glimpses and I find such beauty in this community.

There is a man that could be considered the lowest of the low in La Limonada, literally. He goes down into the water ravine where everyone throws there trash and open sewage, and he digs for valuable things to sell so he can eat. He is what some would consider "the ends of the earth", and he has one of the softest, sweetest spirits that I have ever experienced. A few days ago while in the ravine he cut his foot on a piece of glass and it had since gotten infected and extremely swollen to the point where he couldn't walk on it. Yesterday morning he was sitting outside of Escuela Limon, like he does every morning because the school provides him with breakfast and you could tell that he was in much pain from his foot. He doesn't wear shoes when he goes down into the ravine so you can imagine how infected it had gotten.

One of the teachers was able to come outside and clean his wound, get out whatever was still in the cut, give him some medicine, and bandage it up for him. But before she could even do that, some men who happened to be walking by saw the pain that he was in and took it upon themselves to go back to their home, get an old crutch, bring it back to the school, resize it so it would be the right length, and help him walk on it.

I can't help but see the beauty in these people who are willing to go out of their way to help, when so many other's would have just walked by. I have a lot to learn from their example in that way...

movie day...

2009-08-18T21:58:00.002-04:00

It poured, and I mean POURED yesterday, I haven't seen it rain that hard here yet. Kids are kids anywhere you go, so who wouldn't want to curl up on the carpet with your fellow classmates on a rainy morning and watch The Goofy Movie in Spanish?

I know I would...

Nathan

2009-08-14T21:59:00.007-04:00

Nathy...Maggalito...Little Man...Pulgeen (which means big flea in English, I promise it's a term of affection in our household)...Sweedish Turtle Boy...the list of nicknames goes on and on. Having him here brings such an element of childlike joy to our household that I've never experienced before, each day brings something new and even more funny than the time before.

He loves playing outside...he loves pretending he's Maggi's little puppy...his smile is contagious...he loves to dance and sing...he's a big helper and enjoys helping us carry in the groceries (which is usually a lot with this many people living in one household.) He looks up to Andi, he adores his Abuela (Tita), he is always wanting to play with Kate, and the first person he wants to see in the morning is Monica and Grace. He's such a part of our family and it's hard to imagine life here without him being a consistent part of it. Helping care for him has taught me unconditional love in a way I never knew before and I am so thankful for that.

His mom thinks she's getting out of prison soon and when she does, she wants to move with her 4 daughters and Nathan to a place outside of La Limonada that is designed to help rehabilitate her life, and her heart. My heart is torn because I am so thankful that she desires to have her children with her, and I also am so sad at the thought of Nathan not being here. I have to trust that God has him here for the amount of time that he knows is necessary, and the love that we have poured into his life, and will continue to pour into his life, he will carry with him. Many people have come and gone from our household, and they always stay close to my heart.

He is one who has touched my life in ways I can't even begin to explain...

6 months come and gone...

2009-08-06T23:55:00.003-04:00

Buenos Dias!

{Deep breath} Wow, I really can not believe it’s been over 6 months since I came back to Guatemala in January. As I think back over the past months, the past days, the past weeks, the past hours, the first thing that comes to mind is how God has done SO much here in La Limonada and how amazing it is to be a part of the work here. Tita and I talk often about how there really is a price to pay in our lives to continue to do the work here, and often times it feels absolutely exhausting, but in the tough times when it feels like there’s absolutely nothing left of you to give, God continues to give the necessary strength, energy, patience, and wisdom to get up the next day and pour all of yourself out all over again.

There have been many hello’s and goodbye’s in my life lately…These past few months have been busy for us here in La Limonada with many short term teams coming to help and serve and love the people in this community. I have enjoyed getting to know each person that comes with such a serving heart and it’s really neat to see how God allows such a connection with others in such a short period of time. It feels like as soon as you really get to know someone, you’re driving them to the airport to say goodbye, thankful for the time you were able to spend, and hoping that God will allow paths to cross again for the greatness of his work. Feeling like relationships are such a deep part of my being, it gets hard to feel like you’re constantly saying goodbye, but in that same breath I am reminded that I would much rather have these connections and friendships than not, so saying “see you later” is something my heart is adjusting to little by little. I am so thankful how there is much awareness being spread by those who are coming here, and in turn going back home and talking about what God is doing here. For those of us who are here in Guatemala, it brings much encouragement and joy…

I am continually amazed at the people here who fill me up so much…
The children with their hugs…laughter…smiles
Their families that long for someone to just care and pray with them
The people in this community that simply give a smile as you walk past them.
There is so much here that breaks my heart and well as brightens my soul and for that I am thankful. Some days the work here just feels so overwhelming, there are so many that desperately need so much help and we can’t possibly do it all.
It is then I am humbled to know that if we are allowing God to use us in every way possible, that is simply the best we can do.

He brings the light,

he brings the hope,

and we are simply his hands and feet.

I do believe He provides what we need to provide for those here in La Limonada.

When I came back to Guatemala at then end of January this year, I came with a one-way ticket believing that God will provide for as long as He needs me here at this time. There is such a great need for help here and I feel very blessed to be a part of that work. As of right now I have enough support to be here through October of this year and I am praying to be here at least through the end of the year. If you would like to help in contributing to me being a part of the work here, please go to the Lemonade donation page and under “support a team member” you are able to select my name.

Aside from financial support, I am deeply grateful for the prayers, emails, notes, mail and encouragement that I’ve been receiving, it is like food to my soul.

A beautiful man...with a beautiful soul...and a beautiful heart that God has been using to touch every person that comes to visit him.

Viejito.

A view of La Limonada from the windows of Escuela Mandarina.

An amazing crew from Ohio that poured out everything they had while here.

Thank you for serving alongside of us...

Bath time with Grace!

Adorable Eladio opening his present.

i love my job

2009-07-16T12:03:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I wonder if it's even appropriate to call it my "job" because it just seems too great to call it work. Being here as the full time Lemonade "liason" (if you want to call it that), part of my responsibilities includes keeping the sponsors stateside connected with their sponsored student here in Guatemala. I spent a good part of the day Tuesday handing out and reading letters to the students that received mail from their sponsor, and I can't even explain how much joy it brought to them.

And how much joy it brought to me as well for getting to be a part of that with them, I see these kids absolutely light up at the mention of their "padrinos" (sponsor). To know that someone they may have never met, cares so much about them, takes time to write to them and pray for them, means SO much to the students. I know they, as well as all of us here working in Guatemala are so deeply grateful that people all over the world are taking their time as well as their finances to pour into these kid's lives.

I can't help but smile at the thought of the joy it brings...

still smiling...still thankful

2009-07-06T19:28:00.003-04:00

Sometimes in life I think that I’m here to help others…to give to others…to help teach others…to love others. And I do believe that I am in ways. I believe God has me here to give more than I ever thought possible, to continually pour myself out to others, to love beyond my limits, and in doing that, I’m realizing over and over again just how much these beautiful people teach me.

A few days ago we made the trek up the side of the ravine in La Limonada, climbed up the steep stairs, through a dark narrow doorway and into a one-room shack where there was a woman lying in bed with her sister sitting next to her. She lit up a bit when we walked into the room at the thought of visitors. She fell a few months ago and broke her hip and even though she was able to get it casted to help her heal, she is still not able to walk, and there for not able to work. Which means no food for her or her household. She sits in bed shredding pieces of fabric to sell, that will be used as rags to clean up in machine shops. For every pound she sells she will receive Q2 which is equivalent to $.25

As we sat there with her and talked with her, shared time with her, and then prayed with her and her sister, I wondered if I would have her same joy in that situation…if I would still smile like she was…if I would still be as thankful for life as what I saw in her that day. When we prayed with her she thanked God for her health and asked for Him to continue to heal her.

I am taught over and over again how to find joy and peace and thankfulness in what seems like such dark circumstances, and I am deeply grateful that it’s the souls of these beautiful people of La Limonada that are continuing to teach me.

pinatas and turning 27...

2009-06-26T21:54:00.004-04:00

This past Monday on the 29th, I turned 27, (eeek!) and usually on my birthday I like to take time to think back over the past year,

what it has brought,

how much God has done in my life,

and how much more growing I still need to do. I didn't have much time to reflect on the actual day of my birthday so today I took some time to just really thank God for another year and all that has brought. I am blessed to be serving and living where I am right now and I am incredibly blessed for the people in my life that I just know God has had us cross paths for great reasons.

It seems every year I turn another year older I think "Wow, God has just done SO MUCH this year, I can't imagine what next year will hold." And every year He continues to surprise me, challenge me, and encourage me to grow even more. I'm excited to live this next year and see what it entails...

We just finished breaking the life-sized duck pinata that the family got me for my birthday and that was a lot of fun, always great to feel like a kid, right?

I've been back from language school for a week and have been enjoying being back in the household and back into the work in La Limonada. I've been speaking more Spanish, although it's still incredibly slow! When I got home last week Nathan was very excited to see me walk through the gate and insisted on taking my suitcase into the house for me, what a great helper. :)

the need for others...

2009-06-20T20:44:00.002-04:00

While I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity I have to be spending 2 weeks in beautiful Antigua, living and going to language school, I realized something today that hit me in such a strong way.

To me, life is about sharing that beauty and love with others.

We weren't meant to go through life alone, I don't want to do it solo. I enjoy those I love to much to be away from them for this long. While it may seem a bit extreme, (Leah you've only been gone a week!), the older I get (27 next week, eek!!!) the more I realize God designed me

to live,

to share,

to love

with those who are around me. I love being around people. My prayer for this next week is that He'll use me with those I come in contact with here, in whatever small way He chooses.

And while I'm thinking about it, that is my prayer for my entire life, not just this week. But taking it one day at a time helps me deal with the loneliness of being away from my Guatemalan family. I know God is never far, and that's something I find great comfort in.

Although I so enjoy the smiles, laughs, tears, closeness, honesty and prayers of those he put into my life and I look forward to being around them again soon!

week one

2009-06-20T12:07:00.004-04:00

Well...I just finished week one of language school and I think it's going really well. I've been able to converse in Spanish even though I know my teacher is speaking very slowly with me, ha. Yesterday a few of us from the school make the trek up the 333 stairs to La Cruz which is the cross that was built that overlooks the entire city. I've seen many pictures of this place so it was neat to actually be up there. You can't see in the photo below because it was so overcast yesterday being rainy season, but there's a huge volcano in the background, maybe I'll get a clear shot before I leave next week.

Today my Guatemalan family (i.e. my household) is coming for the afternoon for lunch so I'm looking forward to that!

back in school...

2009-06-16T17:45:00.007-04:00

I'm sitting in a cafe in Antigua after finishing my 2nd day of language school, and....deep breath...it's going really well! I have to admit I was a bit nervous in coming here and a bit sad that I had to be away from my household in Guatemala again and all the kids in La Limonada. But I keep reminding myself how necessary it is for me to really learn Spanish. I am super thankful for this awesome opportunity to learn Spanish in a great school in an amazingly beautiful part of this country.

My teacher was shocked at how much Spanish I knew from never really having any formal training, I guess that's from living here for the past 4 months and 3 months the year before, so that was encouraging to hear. I'm really enjoying my teacher, Diana, we laugh a lot and talk about the work that I'm a part of in La Limonada. Today was neat, she asked me "why did you chose La Limonada to work in?" And I replied (in espanol!) "La Limonada chose me, when my heart broke for the people there almost 5 years ago." She looked like she was going to break down and cry and we just sat there for a bit before talking again, it was a special moment. Well, I should be studying, adios for now!

my desk with Diana at my school

a view of my street and volcano where I'm living with an awesome family

the garden at my school

out for a walk in Antigua...

purposeful...

2009-05-11T19:31:00.004-04:00

3 months here come and gone.

As quickly as they have seemed to fly by, I also feel like I've been gone for a long time. God has been doing so much here and teaching me so much personally as well. Some of it has been painful growth, some of it I have celebrated, but it has all been so necessary.

#33 on my list of things I'd like to do in this lifetime:

: live in purposeful community

One of the biggest things God has been teaching me lately I think is that word purposeful. I live in a household with 8 others including 3 children, and for me that's been a big change from what I'm used to. I grew up in a household of 4, just my sister and I, me being the youngest; and for the past 6 years in my adult life I've lived on and off either with one roommate or by myself.

I've always been intrigued by the stories in the bible of purposeful community, how everyone shared what they had and helped one another with their trades and gifts. After spending some time with friends in Ohio this past summer and seeing this lifestyle firsthand, it made me desire to live that even more. It wasn't until recently that I realized I'm actually doing that right now.

com-mu-ni-ty:

(this was my favorite of the 9 definitions that came up)

: joint possession, enjoyment, liability.

Enjoyment is what stuck out to me the most because lately I feel like God has given me a new sense of just how much I enjoy living in this community, purposefully. Of course there are challenges, daily. Of course there are times when we need to really talk through some tough things. Of course I have my moments where I just want to have some quiet un-interupted time to myself, but really believing that God has put all 9 of us in this household together at this time, and seeing the beauty in what can come out of that, has brought me much joy lately. The coming together of many personalities here and what comes with that, hearts...passions...dreams...has been so healthy to be around. I have been being taught living here what it really means to put others before yourself, what it means to be continually humbled, and what fulfillment there is in that.

Tita, Monica, Kate, Andi, Daniel, Moshi, Nathan and Grace I truly love sharing this life and this community with you, thank you for continuing to share you lives, grace, love and patience with me. I love dreaming with you for what God is putting on our hearts, it excites me to see where he is taking all of this.

I'll be leaving for the states on May 13th to photograph 2 close friend's weddings, as well as see some friends and family. I know it will be refreshing but I also know how much I'll miss my Guatemalan family and this community here. As much as I want to take a piece of them with me (hence Maggs & Moshi in my suitcase), I'll be excited to see what God does in this time apart, for I know there is much purpose in it.

the joy in the small things

2009-05-09T13:18:00.002-04:00

What might seem like a small deal to me is a HUGE deal for these kids and getting to go to the zoo just brought them so much joy and excitement. I find joy in watching them have joy and wanted to share a few of my favorite pictures...

just a little update on life here...

2009-04-27T16:15:00.005-04:00

Hmmm...where to begin?

I need to update here more and then it wouldn't feel like I have a book to write everytime I sit down to do this. Well, Crop, my best friend was just here for 2 1/2 weeks and left yesterday morning. It was amazing having her here. Refreshing. Encouraging. Joyful. She brings much laughter to my life and happiness to those around her and everyone in the household enjoyed having her. She supports a little girl at Limon that she got to meet for the first time and see where she lives and I know that was an incredible experience for Crop, as well as Estefani.

Last week started some new classes at the schools. Andi (missionary from Switzerland who's spending 5 months with us) and I started teaching music class and Kate (missionary from Tennessee who's here with a one-way ticket, and my roomate) started teaching English class. Crop was great with helping Kate get started last week and she even taught by herself one of the days that Kate was not at the school. It's been really neat to see the kids really enjoying these new classes and really trying to understand and learn what we're teaching them. Andi and I were joking that we were singing the songs we taught last week in our sleep...

Tita was having a lot of pain in her wrist for quite some time and when she finally went to the doctor, found out she needed surgery. God amazingly provided all the finances necessary and she had the surgery last week, and has had a very speedy and for the most part painless recovery. It really hasn't slowed her down too much, although she's not able to drive so Kate and I have been learning more of the ins and outs of Guatemala City driving all of us around.

Thursday morning was the first of four field trips (2 schools, 2 shifts, morning and afternoon) to the Zoo here in the city and it was so enjoyable. The kids loved it, we saw a ton of animals, and basked in the warm sun for the morning. They were still talking about it at school this morning, I love how excited they get, makes me more excited for the little things in life. It's a great reminder for me to remember to be grateful for the things that God provides that I could easily take advantage of.

Our household is as full and lively as ever totaling 6 adults and 3 children. (I'll try to get a family picture soon!) We are seriously praying for God to somehow provide a larger home at some point so we are able to bring more children home who are in desperate need to get out of their current living situation. I think he has been preparing us (or me) for that with the kids that we have been temporarily housing, it's exciting to see where God is taking all of this. Nathan is doing so much better and loves sharing a room with Andi, the "hombres room".

Aside from helping Andi with music class at the schools, I've been continuing to keep busy with the work for Lemonade and I've really been enjoying delivering letters to students from their sponsors. They absolutely light up with excitement when they get something special that's just for them. They love the photos that come, and they love writing back. It's such an amazing thing to be a part of. I've been continuing to photograph La Limonada, I couldn't even tell you how many images I have taken over the past few years, but I do have hopes and dreams of publishing a book at some point to tell these peoples stories through photographs. I think it would be an amazing way to raise more awareness and support of the way of life here in La Limonada. It's exciting to wonder if and when that will come into play...

Crop and I spent her last few days here in Guatemala traveling to Tikal to hike the Mayan Ruins. It was such an adventure and absolutely breathtaking. It was so refreshing to get away for a few days and just be in nature. Being out in creation is one of the deepest ways I connect with God and being able to do that for a few days is exactly what I needed I think. We stayed over night in Tikal after hiking the entire day and the next day spent some time in Flores hiking around the town before we took our bus back to Guatemala City. She left to fly back to Raleigh yesterday morning and as much as I miss her, I'm so thankful that she got to come and be a part of our Guatemalan life here.

Well...life update complete for now at least, I'll write more soon.

I promise.

to see Mercy smile...

2009-04-01T18:02:00.005-04:00

When I first met Mercy over a year ago, there was such a deep deep sadness in her. You could see it from the moment you met her, she rarely ever smiled, and she seemed to carry such a heaviness within her. Growing up she watched her mother drink herself to death, and she watched her brother get involved with and become one of the most feared gang leaders in La Limonada. When I think of all she's been through in her life, I can't help but think I'd have a heaviness as well.

When I was here in October we spent a lot of time together, but I couldn't help but notice such a sadness in everything she did. This past November she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Blankita and when I came back in January I couldn't believe the change I saw in Mercy. She smiles,

she laughs,

she enjoys her daughter,

she enjoys life,

there is a difference in her heart.

I truly believe God's love transforms lives and hearts and to walk alongside Mercy and watch her through that process is just such an unbelievable thing.

Such a medicine is love.

A wise woman (I bet you can't guess who?) once said that and I can't think of a better way to describe what has changed Mercy. To see her smile is a constant reminder of God's redeeming love in our lives and how it's never too late or too little to pour that love into someone else's life.

a day at the Zoo

2009-03-28T23:06:00.003-04:00

Our household of 9 plus 5 others packed in the van today and headed to the Zoo. I don't think I'd been there since I was 13, and have never been to one in another country so it was definitely a neat experience. The best part I think was just watching the kids get so excited about seeing all the different animals, running from one exhibit to the next. It was a very fun day together, and I'm ready to go to bed at 9 pm. Guess that means it was a good day. :)

refreshment...

2009-03-21T18:32:00.004-04:00

I seem to be really bad at keeping up with posting blogs lately, for those of you who read this, I apologize. Sometimes it feels like so much happens in a day here, how can I condense it into a blog? But I'll do a better job of trying...

I feel like with much prayer and A LOT of patience (which isn't my strongest strength) I have been adjusting more and more each day to caring for Nathan. There are so many things that I enjoy...his laugh, when he calls my name, when he asks me to help him, when he helps me hang the laundry outside, his adorable smile, how peaceful he looks when he sleeps... and there are also many challenges. Not knowing his full abuse history makes it hard to understand and deal with his fears and tantrums at times, but we're seeing improvement one day at a time. And we're able to pour into his life with love and security which I think is the best thing we can do at this point. Most days I feel absolutely exhausted by the time he goes to bed, welcome to the world of parenthood I guess? :)

Doug was here last week and it was just absolutely so wonderful to have him here. He jumped right in, was a huge help with Nathan, the household, and cooked some delicious food for us. It was so great to be around him again, it made me realize just how much I miss him and how crazy it is that God brought us together at the time that He did. Being away from each other for this long is really hard, but really worth it. It pushes us to depend on God in our relationship in a way that we hadn't had to up until that point. His visit was such a breath of fresh air,

such a refreshment.

a bit behind...

2009-03-04T22:10:00.005-05:00

I have to sometimes laugh at God. Maybe not at God, but with God? I continue to ask him to push me out of my comfort zone in ways that will make me grow, ways that will make me learn, and ways that I will gain necessary life experience for what's to come. I don't know why I'm surprised when He keeps doing it...that's where the funny part comes in for me. I keep asking for this, He keeps answering and then I'm surprised when I feel so pushed beyond myself. Sometimes I realize quickly that God is working in whatever situation feels so tough, and sometimes I fight it and push the change away until I realize just how thick headed I am. What God keeps putting in front of me, and where He keeps leading me, I want to follow, it's just takes me a little longer than others at times.

Nathan.

The most recent answer to my biggest prayer, to be used in whatever way possible. If you've been following my blog for some time, I know you've heard about him before, because the sweetness of his little personality caught my heart from the instant I met him. He first came to the school last year on his 2nd birthday, his mom brought him because she couldn't afford to buy him anything so we gave him so clothes and little boy underwear and he left on cloud 9. Every time I would walk through La Limonada I would seem to see his smiling face and he'd come running up to me for as many hugs and kisses as possible.

Last time I was in here in October of last year I found out that Nathan's mom had been sent to prison and he and his sister's were living between various homes of family members. It took me a few days to find where Nathan was staying, but when I did, he was just as happy to get some hugs and smiles as usual. He's been living with his older sister while his sisters are living with another family member. Last week we were told his sister was threatening to put him in a foster home because she's just been feeling so overwhelmed with taking care of him, plus taking care of her own children, (the foster homes in Guatemala are horrible by the way). It broke my heart to hear that someone didn't want him, when there is such a big spot in my heart for him, so I decided to bring him to Tita's for a few days to give his sister a break, show her that we care about her, and to give Nathan as much love as possible. What started as a few days, after prayers, has now been decided will become permanent for now. There are signs that he was possibly being abused at the home where he was staying. Tita talked to his sister and asked her if he could stay with us until their mom gets out of prison, and she was all for it, I think it was too overwhelming for her to give him the care that he needs. Fast forward to today, I am now the permanent care giver for a 4 year old.

The first few days felt very overwhelming and challenging especially with the language barrier and a few days in a row I just needed to break down and cry. I feel very thankful that I can be there for him when he really needs someone to show him he's loved and valued, and just allow him to have a joyful childhood. I am humbled that God thinks I have the capability to care for a toddler when I've never been a parent before, when I feel some days that I can barely care for myself. It's been a huge adjustment, and difficult at times to get used to being on a toddler's sleep schedule (they get up so early!), and when I think of the responsibility of it all, I'm very easily overwhelmed. Thankfully Tita, Monica and our household have been great with being patient with me and helping me with Nathan. He's loving it here, everyday after school asking if we're going home to "mana Tita's" house (mana short for hermana which means sister).

So here I am, 26 years old, living in Guatemala for a year and now caring for a 4 year old. I never would have thought this would have been my life right now, but I'm very thankful for it and am now accepting and welcoming the change.

So forgive me please if I've been a bit behind...

Herber's first paycheck

2009-03-04T19:24:00.002-05:00

Nora's 2nd oldest, Herber, has always held a special place in my heart. He's 12 and just has such a great personality, always excited to see you, hug you, and just be around you. Growing up in La Limonada is obviously not an easy thing for any child which is why many turn to gangs and drugs to escape the reality of their lives. Last year we found out Herber started sniffing glue which usually leads down a very destructive path here.

This week Herber got his first pay check, after his first week at his first job. In the afternoons he's been helping at the school with the kids and then going to help on the rebuilding of Mairita's home. She is one of the teachers at Escuela Limon who's home was ruined by the mud slides. We asked the man in charge of the reconstruction how Herber's work was, and he said Herber is doing really well and being very cooperative.

This is such a good thing for him, giving him something to look forward to, to earn an income for his household, and to keep him off the streets.

Grace turns 1

2009-02-21T19:56:00.004-05:00

Baby Grace, Nora's youngest and probably the most loved baby girl in La Limonada, turned one this week. I was able to be here when she was born last year, (blog of that here), so it was a real special time to celebrate her first birthday with her. Monica has been watching Grace for Nora every evening so we've been getting to really enjoy having her in the household, she's such a great baby. Today we stuck with our tradition in going to Burger King for lunch and celebrated with Grace by singing and giving her ice cream. She seemed a little confused as to why everyone was singing and clapping to her and it was so cute to watch her watching everyone.
Grace's first year has not been an easy one, but we are praying and believing that Nora can care for her children like they need to be cared for. Today was just a great celebration of this little one's life.

fresh on my heart...

2009-02-19T21:33:00.005-05:00

Ismael...

His mother dropped him off at La Escuelita this morning like she usually does at 8:20 am. This morning though Ismael was crying hysterically and grasping onto his mom not wanting to let her go, wrapping his tiny arms around her neck with all of his might. This didn't strike me as that unusual, kids go through separation anxiety at this age. Because breakfast had to be served to the rest of the children Monica passed him to me asking me to comfort him and pray for him telling me that he is the son of the man who's funeral I was at last week because he hung himself. Ismael's 8 year old sister found him dead in their home. My heart absolutely sank, Ismael is way to young to understand what happened but he knows that his dad is no longer there and then it made me realize why it was so painful to let go of his mom this morning. I held him until he stopped crying and then just let him relax on my lap until he was ready to go to his seat. It made me realize even more just how powerful a touch is to a hurting child, I have nothing to give except love and attention and prayers. And although I wanted to do more for Ismael, this morning I felt like I gave him all that I could.

Jenny...

the sweetest smile I ever seen, the most contagious laugh I've ever heard. Being around her you can't help but be intoxicated by her joy. She's had such a piece of my heart ever since I met her when she started coming to La Escuelita years ago. But lately there's been such a change in her, she doesn't want to behave in school, she can't seem to listen or sit still, there is a joy in her that was once there that seems as if it is now missing. In not only accepting and loving the children at the school, but their families as well, we are constantly hearing about what is going on in their homes lives, and it usually isn't pleasant. Jenny home life and history of sexual abuse I feel like is robbing her of her livelihood right before my eyes and it absolutely breaks my heart. I wish I could change the way her family life is, I wish her body wasn't treated like it already has been, I wish I could erase that pain from her heart that it has caused, but all of that is beyond my ability. Today I could just simply love her and show her that and I pray that that is enough.

"too often we underestimate

the power of a touch, a smile,

a kind word, a listening ear,

an honest compliment,

or the smallest act of caring,

all of which have the potential

to turn a life around."

leo buscaglia

dulce & bethany

2009-02-16T18:16:00.005-05:00

My great friend Bethany is here visiting from PA right now, she flew in Saturday night and I've so been enjoying her being here. It's so nice to have the comfort of a close friend who really knows you. Yesterday we got to take her to Antigua for the afternoon to enjoy the old buildings, cobblestone streets, and amazing colors and smells that flood your senses at the local market.

Today though I think was an amazing experience for her. She got to meet, play with, love on, and smile with Dulce, the girl at Escuelita Limon that she sponsors. We told Dulce last week that Bethany, her madrina, was coming to see her today and when I caught Dulce's eye this morning and pointed to Bethany, a huge smile spread across her face before she got really shy again. Watching Bethany interact with Dulce was amazing to see, to meet in person the child that you've been praying for, writing to, sacrificing financially for, it's just such an unexplainable feeling. Bethany does a great job of capturing her feelings of La Limonada and meeting Dulce, she's keeping up on her blog here.

I hope at some point all the sponsors can hug, laugh, and smile with their child face to face, it will change you.

living. loving. learning.

2009-02-16T16:04:00.002-05:00

A beautiful friend sent this to me today and it really was such an encouragement to me:

"the most invisible creators I know of are those artists whose medium is life itself.

the ones who express the in-expressible-without brush, hammer, clay or guitar.

they neither paint nor sculpt-their medium is their being.

whatever their presence touches has increased life.

they see and don't have to draw.

they are the artists of being alive."

j. stone

I think it came at the perfect time because I've really been working through my mindset of always feeling like I have to be "doing" here, when really I think it's about fully "being" here.

Being fully present.

Fully engaged.

Fully giving of myself even when it feels tiring.

I know it's an immense privilege to be here and I am deeply grateful for that. I think God will continue to reveal in small doses what His plans are for me here and that's exciting to me.

I'm learning that my medium can be my being-

and I am starting to learn that that's enough.

Luis

2009-02-09T19:35:00.002-05:00

is one of the most humble, grateful, sweet souls I have ever met. He is considered "the ends of the earth" in La Limonada, and if you ever have the privilege of meeting him, I hope you will see the beauty in his life. He was waiting outside of Escuelita Mandarina today to ask us if he could clean up the outside around the school for 15 Q's which is equivalent to about $2.50. And he did a great job...

Godinez, Lake Atitlan

2009-02-09T16:00:00.003-05:00

This may be one of the most beautiful and peaceful places that I have ever been to. We had the awesome privilege of staying there this weekend thanks to Tita's friends who own a home there. What a great way to refresh, relax, and be still. That is exactly what I made a point of doing. With the burden of how many people need help here in La Limonada it is sometimes hard to take time to stop, and listen. I am thankful for this time of replenishment to my soul and woke up this morning with a new excitement, and that to me, is exciting...

a typical day

2009-02-04T16:39:00.002-05:00

I've been back in Guatemala for almost a week and the time has been flying by...I'm sure I'll also be saying that six months from now too. Our days have been busy back and forth between the 2 schools, "Esquelita Limon" (the first school) and "Esquelita Mandarina" (the new school) as well as visiting homes of families in the community to pray with them, sit with them and listen to their stories, and bring them much needed food. Here are 2 of my favorite snaps from today...

back again...

2009-02-01T19:22:00.002-05:00

I arrived back in Guatemala City on Thursday evening and jumped right back in where I left off it seems like. Friday I got to reunite with all the kids at "Escuela Limon" (the first school) and meet all the children at "Escuela Mandarin" (the new school). I love that I get to love on these kids and this community....

I will be trying to keep my blog up to date with photos and stories of the work that's being done here, stay tuned!

starting to sink in...

2009-01-05T11:29:00.004-05:00

in 24 days, on January 29th I will be on a plane to Guatemala with a one way ticket.

That is just something that I can't wrap my mind around most of the time. Some days it feels difficult to think about leaving all these comforts of life behind, to know I'll not be able to be there for friends big life events like weddings and babies being born, and to chose a life in Guatemala where I am constantly pushed out of my comfort zone.

I think realizing and accepting these things are healthy to remind me just how worth it it is to follow this dream.

I am constantly reminded of just how deeply I need to depend on God not just in my everyday life, but in every step of this process in going to Guatemala long term.

I feel like there is so much in me that He needs to prepare me for and that's a very exciting thing. Getting ready to leave is a process for me.

A process of letting go.

An excitement of what's to come.

An anticipation of all that God is doing and is going to do.

Taking the time to be still and take this all in is something that I have been diligently trying to do because anyone who knows me knows I don't sit still for too long. So many exciting things are happening here with Lemonade and there is so much on the near horizon to be grateful for. Yesterday morning there were 40 more kids sponsored from the awesome people at Lifepointe Church here in Raleigh and that in itself has been something that we've just been so thankful for.

These next few weeks for me will be spent tying up lose ends getting ready to leave the country, selling my car, storing the little that hasn't been sold, doctors appointments, vaccinations, Lemonade work, and spending as much time with friends and family as possible.

I'm just soaking all of this in...

trusting...

2008-11-04T20:51:00.004-05:00

{Ask. Ask for the courage to give until it hurts.}

-mother teresa

This journey that has become my life is not meant to be lived alone,

it is meant to be shared.

I'm inviting you to share it with me for I know I cannot do it on my own...

............................................................................

The above is the closing line in the letter that I sent out last week explaining my upcoming year in Guatemala to my closest friends and family who are a part of this journey with me. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've been back in Raleigh, and it's always a transition, and always a little bit different every time I come back. I like that it's different because it makes me feel like God is working in me in new and different ways. This coming Saturday will mark the last wedding that I'm photographing this year, and usually that's not that big of a deal, but to me now, it feels big. I've been shooting weddings for almost 10 years (yes, I'm aware that makes me sound really old!) and it's been my sustainable income my entire adult life. I've been feeling for some time that the time was coming for me to move onto something else, and now that the time is here, it's exhilarating, exciting, and scary all at the same time. It's not so much the fact that this chapter of photography in my life is coming to a close for now, it's more the excitement of the unknown, and trusting what God will do with this gift that He has given me of seeing the world through a photograph. {I'm so passionate about using the way I see things differently through photography to raise awareness and support of the darkest, poorest areas in the world, and feeling like that is starting to happen is really exciting.}

I have no clue where God will take all of this, and I think that's what I love the most, trusting the unknown, trusting where I feel lead, trusting that this journey is only beginning...

In leaving behind my "career" and trusting that God will provide for this journey in Guatemala through others who see the deep value in it, is something that is daily building my trust and faith in Him even more deeply. There are times when it's hard and painful to prepare to leave everything behind, but I am gently reminded just how worth it it is.

Today is one of those days when my heart just aches to be with those in La Limonada, so I am reminded then just how deep my love goes for them.

To me it's worth it to love this deeply even if it hurts, because it reminds me that I'm fully alive. I feel like God has been working and preparing so much in me to be in Guatemala for a year, and I know there is still so much more to come.

{If God can accomplish His purposes in this world through

a broken heart, then why not thank Him

for breaking yours?}

-oswald chambers

wrapping up a part of this journey...

2008-10-22T14:45:00.005-04:00

at least for now.

In this place.

At this time.

I feel like I haven't even begun to grasp just how much happened in this trip for the past 3 weeks and how much God has been working in me and all around me, but having a little taste of it is just..........sweet.

Darian left a few days ago, we just dropped Bill off at the airport, and Donnie and I leave tomorrow. {sigh} There is such a joy in this place that I just don't feel anywhere else. And it's in a place where so many see only darkness, I see light. I think God has gifted me with finding joy in life wherever I am, so I'm praying for that when I head back to Raleigh. I love my life there, as well as here, it just takes me some time to readjust. Thankfully I have amazing friends who are helping pray me through that and have been such huge supporters on this journey.

It's kinda crazy for me to think that this is just the tip of this journey...

I had to say goodbye to the kids this morning and as painful as that is, there is a joy in telling them "regreso en enero" (I'll be back in January.)

Gotta get back to packing, enjoying my last day here, and tending to my gazillion bug bites. How is it that I'm the ONLY one in this house that gets bit?

Bill, Darian, & The Don...

2008-10-18T22:45:00.004-04:00

Arrived here in Guatemala yesterday and the day before and what a refreshment and joy it's been to spend this time with them. Bill & Darian have been best friends for 10 years and this is Darian's first time in Guatemala, actually his first time out of the country and watching him experience and fall in love with the people of La Limonada has been an awesome experience to be a part of.

We picked them up from the airport yesterday and went right to La Limonada to see the kids at La Escuelita and visit homes in the community. We spent the afternoon spinning in circles with the kids, laughing, praying with families, and just being a presence of love. It's amazing just how much this community has to give when they have basically nothing. I've really never felt as much love as I do here...

This afternoon was the Parenting School that is held once a month. It is one of the only requirements for children to come to La Escuelita, their parents, grandparents, aunts, whoever cares for them comes once a month on a Saturday afternoon. Darian & Bill both spoke about just how valuable this community is, how valuable these children are, how valuable and loved their families are. Again, here is my problem with articulating this into words, but it was powerful, and the entire time I was just sitting there praying that God would just infect these parents hearts with His love, that they will know just how loved and valuable they really are.

a glimpse of a day here...

2008-10-13T19:54:00.009-04:00

There's something about taking these kids pictures that just makes my day. Maybe it's because it makes them feel so special, maybe it's because I know the end result of their picture being taken today will be a family who is going to love, support, and pray for them in the states, or maybe it's just because I LOVE spending time with them...

whatever it is, I savor it.

Sommer from Lifepointe Church in Raleigh flew in last night and she's here for 3 days, (way too short!) to get a glimpse of what is going on in La Limonada first hand and the work that is being done there to bring hope and love to this community. She got to meet her sponsor child Alberto this morning, what a perfect meeting...

a friend...

2008-10-11T22:27:00.007-04:00

...sometimes I find it hard to put a day's events into words, let alone a blog. There are some things that are just so precious that I feel like I cheapen them when I write them down, like I don't do justice to just how big God is. In fact I KNOW I don't do justice to that, I'll never do justice to that with my small words. But today especially I thought I came to the point where I decided that telling this story just wouldn't do it justice, but Tita thinks otherwise...

.................................................

One of the most feared ex-gang leaders in La Limonada, that Tita and I are close with, got picked up by the cops yesterday while at home in the ghetto. I got particularly close with him when I was here 7 months ago, I met him while he was in the hospital after being

shot in each of his legs, not to kill him, just to put him in immense pain. Tita, Monica and I would go the hospital to visit with him often, and just be a presence of love. My heart wept for him in his brokenness and pain...

Since getting out of the hospital 8 months ago, he has made the choice to leave the life of violence, drugs, and gangs, that is all he has ever known. That is a huge deal, you don't just leave a gang, especially if you're the leader. You either kill for respect, or you get killed.

It's hard for me to imagine him in that sense, because there is such a softness in him. I see so much beauty in his soul...he is surrendered to the real love of God, and there is such a peace about him.

There is a tattoo across his forehead that reads:

"only God can judge me"

The cops will pick up a gang member strictly for just having tattoos, assuming that they must have done something wrong, so when we got the phone call yesterday that he was taken by the cops, it wasn't a surprise even though we know he's not an active part in the gang anymore. My biggest prayer for him was just that he would know God is in all of this, that his heart will not become hardened again. That he knows that God can use his past for good, that nothing that he has done is beyond redemption.

This morning Tita got a phone call that we were able to visit him today so we picked up his sister, his 4 year old son, and some of his aunts from La Limonada and started the drive to the

prison. All the women visiting the prison have to wear skirts, which I still don't understand, but I wasn't about to argue. Before today I have never been to a prison to visit someone, let alone in another country, and I wasn't sure what to expect. We came past visiting hours, and for one reason or another they decided to let us in, but only 4 of us. There were 7 of us that came. I didn't realize this at the time, but one of the women that didn't come in, came with us because her son is at this prison, and she can't usually get a ride to see him. She gave up seeing her son saying, "the most important people here to see him are Tita and Leah so I will wait outside." This is what makes me have no words...I am overwhelmed with what an immense honor I feel like that was. This woman doesn't even know me, but saw something in how much I care for him. I am still somewhat baffled and blown away by her giving.

After realizing what she had given up, when we came out of the prison, I thanked her with tears for her sacrifice and just how special she is...

We had to go through all sorts of 3rd world country checkpoints to get into the prison, getting a number of stamps on our arms by guards with huge shotguns that looked like they were 16 years old, handing over my passport to pass through, getting patted down by an officer, more stamps on my arm, more locked doors to pass through.

There were beautiful paintings on the walls that the prisoners have painted.

I saw a lot of beauty in all of this brokenness.

When we saw him there was such a peace about him that I have never seen before. It was such a huge answer to prayer.

I don't know how long he'll be there, I don't know what the outcome will be, but I know he's not alone, and I also know that he knows that.

finding beauty in the ashes of the brokenness

2008-10-11T21:38:00.007-04:00

somes tunes that have meant a lot lately...

2008-10-10T21:57:00.003-04:00

so I try to be like you
try to feel it like you do
but without you it's no use
i can't see what you see

when I look at the world

i can't wait any longer
i can't wait 'til I'm stronger
can't wait any longer
to see what you see
when I look at the world

-U2

will you teach us how to love?
to see the things you see
walk the road you walked
feel the pain that you feel
at your feet I kneel,
i want to see you shine
see your light not mine
'cause light gives heat
your light gives heat

-jars of clay

I just had to laugh...

2008-10-09T20:48:00.011-04:00

I keep praying for God to push me further and further out of my comfort zone so I can grow more...trust more...learn more...love more...

and He keeps answering that prayer, whether I like it or not. This morning I was put in charge of Myra's 6-8 year old classroom at La Escuelita while she took care of a personal emergency with Tita. I'm realizing that I'm really gifted at loving, I can walk into a classroom and disrupt it with tons of hugs, smiles and kisses. But put me in charge of 30 excited kids who I can't fully communicate with and it turns into some level of chaos. Maybe it's because I want to be running around with them while they're supposed to be reading, maybe it's because I think I'll always be a kid at heart. As overwhelming as this morning felt at times, it the midst of it I just had to smile at how I think God really does have a sense of humor since that was way out of my comfort zone, and at the same time I loved every moment of it.

I sat with Wendy, Jacylyn and Rosita and read to them while they taught me the words I couldn't pronounce, I think we all really enjoyed it...

I look back over just one day's events...one day's smiles...one day's laughs..one day's tears...one day's prayers...one day's beggings for grace...one day's memories that are etched in my heart...

and I am just thankful.

I absolutely fell in love with Nathan when I was here last, his older sister Michele is at La Escuelita and their smiles just light up everything and everyone around them. Since I last left their mom was put in prison for selling drugs so they have been living with different relatives in La Limonada. A few days ago we were at the house where Michele is living, and today we finally found where Nathan is living. I screamed when I saw him because I was just so excited to see him after 7 months of being gone, and with my shriek of joy, he let out an adorable giggle. As painful as it is to see their family separated, I am begging God that these children know just how much they are loved and valued. If I can play a small part in showing them that, well I will gladly give my entire day to that.

If you've heard me talk about Guatemala, I'm absolutely certain you've heard me talk about the family that I am absolutely IN LOVE with...

Before I left to go back to North Carolina last time I was here, I took Nora and "the clan", as we affectionately call them, to Burger King for lunch and it was such a treat. So today we continued with the traditional and went to Booger King (that's the way it sounds when they pronounce it with their accents) and what a feast it was. Aside from being painfully reminded of what a comfortable life I live when a fast food lunch is like a thanksgiving dinner to them, I couldn't have enjoyed more just spending time with and loving their family. We laughed at Ezekiel as he stole Samuelito's fries, we played on the playground, we just enjoyed each other.

I feel like there are so many moments when I couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere else because I am just so overwhelmed with the joy of the moment and the people I am so privileged to know here.

Oliver, Nora, Grace, Jose, Herber, Ezekiel, and Samuel will forever have such a deep part of my heart. I keep wondering how it's possible for me to love those in La Limonada so deeply because there's so many, but this love is there and it's overflowing and all I want to do is give it. In giving, all I want to do is give more, so I think I'll keep doing that...

oh and p.s.

Tita told me I MUST write here that according to her I am doing so great with my Spanish so for those of you that have been praying for that, muchas gracias. Apparently they're really paying off :)

sometimes there just aren't any words...

2008-10-07T22:20:00.006-04:00

...to describe a day in La Limonada, so today pictures are all I have to tell their stories.

reunited...

2008-10-06T22:05:00.007-04:00

seems to be the word that keeps coming to mind when I think about today.

I know that I have a deep love for this place, I know that there are many children and families here that I deeply connect with, I know that driving into La Limonada brings such a feeling that I could never fully express...

but knowing all of that, and actually experiencing it again after 7 months of being gone, {sigh} it was just so incredible.

This morning I spent hugging, laughing, and playing games with these incredible kids at the school that I love so much, and also reconnecting with some families in La Limonada that I was desperately waiting to see. I had to contain myself to not go running to their house, and it was so worth the wait!

There is just something about this place that makes me come alive. What so many see as a filthy, dark, hopeless place, I find beauty in. I know there is darkness that happens here, but I also see so much light in people. There is way too much love in these kids for me not to see that light.

I know that I've been hearing about the school on the "other side" and seeing pictures of what has been started there, but actually seeing it first-hand today, was almost overwhelming. There are 60 more children from a whole other part of La Limonada that are in school, and so excited to be there, they are being taught, they are feeling loved, they know that they are valued. Tita and I were standing on the 2nd story overlooking La Limonada I told her just how blown away I am at her dedication to following what God puts on her heart. Not just following, but blazing a trail when others think it's impossible.

I'm just so humbled to even be a part of this...

picking up right where I left off...

2008-10-04T16:18:00.009-04:00

I wish I could put my finger on exactly what it is about this country...

is it the 3rd world country smells that greet me as I step out of the airport that make me feel like I'm home?...is it the beauty of the rainy season here that makes everything so lush and green?...is it simply being present with Tita again, which is just so natural and full of joy?...is it being reunited with these Guatemaltecos that my heart seems to burst with love for?...is it the joy I see in La Limonada when it is known by many for such darkness?

I feel like God broke my heart for this country exactly 4 years ago, and something in that just makes me come alive.

I arrived back in Guatemala City yesterday afternoon and I wish I had exact words for what it feels like to be back here, sometimes words just don't do things justice.

It just feels right being here.

I woke up this morning, and when realizing where I was, I just had to laugh at how great it feels to be back. Getting right back into life here with Tita and my Guatemalan family is so natural, it's like I never left. And in feeling like I never left, I also feel like there has been so much growth and so much change in the past months since I left. Tita will look at me at random times throughout the day and when I ask "que?" she just explodes with "you're here!!!" (imagine this in a broken english guatemalan accent, it's so great. :)

There is a peace that I have here that I don't experience anywhere else.

But when I think about my life in Raleigh I really do feel like I live it to the fullest and love mostly every minute of it. I know that doesn't make much sense to feel at home in 2 completely different places, but I guess that's the beauty of the way God works...

When I was here for 3 1/2 months I had the opportunity to get to know and spend time with Queco. He is a former gang leader of one of the most dangerous gangs in La Limonada, but has chosen to not live that life of violence anymore. It's been an amazing thing to watch his journey of redemption first hand, and today I got to reunite with him after being gone for 7 months. That was so great on it's own, but we also got to meet Belini Estela (little beautiful one) who is his and Alma's 4 day old baby girl.

I've never seen such a proud papa, and I've never seen Queco smile so much before.

There is so many reunions that will happen over the next few days that I can barely sit still I'm so excited. There is so much work to be done that I am also so excited about, I will try to update as much as possible, there is just no way to contain everything that happens in one day here into a blog post.

But I'll do my best...

headed up north, before heading down south...

2008-09-29T06:43:00.006-04:00

I'm sitting here in the Philly airport, at what feels like an ungodly hour to be awake and coherent, and as tired as I feel right now there is a renewed energy that comes from spending time with friends and family. Correction: AMAZING friends and family.

I've just spent a week in PA and my mind is still processing all of these incredible times that I've just gotten to be a part of.

There were so many moments this past week when sitting with a friend having coffee...holding a sleeping Sadie while she knocked out on our walk...hearing about what's going on in friends lives over dinner, and walks, and runs...sharing in the excitement of a friend's first pregnancy...watching my grandfather tear up as he talks about where he sees my life going and how much he enjoys being a part of it...being a part of capturing a beautiful moment between father and son on his wedding day...seeing just how great my mom is doing and being in awe of that...freezing with the windows down at 2 am just to listen to a Sigur Ros at full blast...catching up with college friends who now have beautiful babies...being there when my dad crossed the finish line after riding 150 miles for the 15th year...

that I thought to myself, this moment is just so precious and perfect, there is literally no where else in the world I would rather be right now.

Sometimes it's difficult for me to live fully in the present because there is so much I look forward to in the future, but I have to remind myself that I can't be so focused on what's to come that I am blind to what's right in front of me. To what God is trying to work in my life now, not just what He will do later. This past week for me was just a perfect example of what it means to me to be fully present in every moment of life.

I am fully aware and ok with the fact that I am cheesy and sappy, this is me. Maybe I have a renewed appreciation for my friendships because I am starting to prepare for leaving the country for a long time, but I would like to think I generally appreciate and love my friends this much on the regular.

Today marks exactly 2 years since I moved to Raleigh and I feel like I've only just started to wrap my mind around the purpose in it all. It's just been such an incredible journey that I feel like has only just begun. How is it that 3 completely different places all feel completely like home? I spent my first 24 years in PA...I spent my last 2 years in NC...and I plan on spending what's next to come in Guatemala. Maybe I'm starting to understand what home really is for me? Where there are relationships that mean more to me than I could put words on...where there are lifelong bonds with those that I feel like truly know me and choose to love me anyway...where my heart completely breaks with love for people who have so much less than me but give so much more than I do...where there will always be a couch for me to crash on.

(you're the BEST Tunyez. :)

Maybe I feel like there was a time when I was waiting for life to really begin and then I realized I've been living it all along, at some point I chose to live it fully. That comes with it's joys and heartaches but I wouldn't want to do it any other way. Fully living, fully loving, fully giving isn't that the way Jesus would be living if He were here? I by no means have any of this figured out, but I'm learning A LOT along the way in this journey and I am so excited to see what life is becoming...

Maybe I'm just deliriously tired from a week of not much sleep at all and way too much excitement, or maybe not?

The sun is starting to come up, shine in the windows, and wake this tired airport terminal, and I need to board my plane home...

2008-09-09T14:11:00.004-04:00

"...may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."

I'm completely ok with being a fool for that.

(thank you to a friend who I stole this from, who stole it from someone else. I just liked it too much to not want to read it over and over again...)

well, if you'd like an update...

2008-09-09T10:49:00.010-04:00

I've been being told lately that I need to update this piece...

so here is some recent excitement that's been happening.

I didn't think my life was that interesting, so if you're not interested, don't read this.

I think it's pretty obvious that Lemonade, Guatemala, and Tita are words that are in my everyday vocab. Anyone who talks to me longer than 5 minutes and wants to hear anything about me usually gets an earful of what's going on in my Guatemalan-Chapin life. So thanks for listening...

A lot has been happening, so much that I feel like I could post a blog daily with new stories, new excitement about more children being sponsored, new contacts that are being made with people who are passionate about wanting to help, new schools starting in La Limonada, new ways we see God working in all of this, new ways we are learning to trust Him in the direction He is moving our lives, new grace to work through things I don't understand, a new day that I get to wake up and be thankful for life...

My biggest project lately has been making sure we have sponsor cards for all of the children so I've been working on getting all of that information. As much as I want to have that completed so every child has the chance to feel love and care from another country, I have to take a step back and remember how much excitement there is in this. There is an urgency for me to want every single child that I've loved for the 3 1/2 months I was there, and have continued to love from a distance since I've been back, to feel that love from someone that they know is praying for them. I've seen firsthand how this love just completely transforms their lives and makes them feel so valued. It's really exciting to see people from all over the country wanting to take part in pouring their love into these children.

wow, that was a lot of love in that last paragraph. :)

I'm getting really excited for my upcoming 20 day trip back to Guatemala in October. I feel like it's been so long since I've been there, but then I feel like time is flying by. I know, I know, doesn't make much sense. :)

I'll be in Guatemala from the 3rd - 23rd and just closing my eyes and thinking of being there brings such a sense of "home" right now. I'm starting to realize, accept, and enjoy that God has put several places on my heart as "home" in my life. And I pray that he'll continue to put even more places on my heart in my lifetime...

While I'm there, aside from being present with and loving all these kids and people in La Limonada that have completely stolen my heart, I will be working a lot on getting Lemonade stateside and Lemonade Guatemalan side as coordinated as possible. For those of you who have any experience with working stateside to another country, you know that communication is key. So anything that I can do while I'm there to help, I'm completely game for. And it typing this I almost have to laugh at what my "plan" is for being there because everyday and every minute it seems like something changes and you just go with the flow of where you are most needed. I'm excited to see what God has planned for this...

And not just for this trip,

for this life in general.

I'll keep ya posted...

family in 'nati...

2008-08-13T16:30:00.009-04:00

bare with me, this may be a long one... :)

Bill, Cherie, Ben, Alex, Miyah, Donnie, and I returned Monday from our 6 day trip to Ohio where we spent an amazing time with the Vineyard Central (V.C.) crew and had an absolute blast living in their community of the Brownhouse, if only for a couple days. SO MUCH I feel like happened in those days that I am still processing, in such a good way, so instead of repeating everything here, I'm going to pull a "Waluk move" and insert excerpts from some journal entries while I was in Ohio...

Cincinnati: 8.6.08...

Well something that felt like simply a dream on a whim only a couple months ago is now coming into play and I almost can’t really even wrap my mind around that…

Day 1:

We’ve been here for almost a full 24 hours now in Cincinnati (or ‘nati as we’re now allowed to call it since we’ve adopted it as one of our favorite places and consider ourselves “locals”) with this Vineyard Central community that we’ve been anxiously wanting to spend time with. Our connection goes back to Tita and being connected to her through working with her and her team at different times. I really am just in awe of the way God designs lives and purposes and gives those who are following him such a heart for the work that He is trying to do. I believe He gives everyone a heart for something, but following that call is a lot scarier and a lot more exciting than just dreaming about it. This Norwood community is living this intentionally, I believe this is a glimpse of the way Jesus lived when He was on this earth, intentional community living, deep friendships with the neighbors around you, just being a presence. And what a presence they are, and so humbly at that. It’s intoxicating to be around this, it fuels me to want to live this way even more. Intentional community. I am fully aware that I’m seeing the grandness of it all right now because I’m on the outside watching their lives, and living this way comes with it’s hardships and struggles and disagreements, but I feel like that deepens relationships even more. And that excites me in a BIG way...

Day 2:

I’m sitting here working on the support cards with Monica, it’s just so amazing to be in the present together, makes me feel a sense of home in Guatemala. I am continued to be blown away by this community and it’s genuineness. I want this. I want to live this. I want to be a part of this. I want to contribute to this. I want to live the way I feel like Jesus lived, among others. Intentionally. Father help me to always be chasing after your own heart, whatever that may look like, wherever that may take me, whatever danger that may put me in, however uncomfortable it makes me. I know in only following You and the way of Jesus, will I find true life.

Day 3-4:

I fear that I will forget something if I don’t document the amazing-ness of all of this. I just can’t believe this is all happening, I just can’t believe how you’ve orchestrated all of these lives to come together for such an amazing thing that Your moving in La Limonada. I truly believe this ghetto will transform others with their love and their stories and their willingness to believe they’re worth more than gangs, drugs, and poverty.

Last night was our first official Lemonade set up at a church and it was just so great. I wish I had bigger words to describe what I’m feeling… We were at Church 922 which is where Craig goes. Craig is the owner of Mothers Tattoo shop where Jeremiah works as a tattoo artist. Jeremiah and Craig got connected last year right before Jeremiah, Sara and their 3 girls sold their house and all of their belongings to move to Guatemala. Craig came to visit the Griswold’s while they were in Guatemala and got to meet and connect and form a lifelong bond with Tita. While he was there he had the opportunity to go to the prison and just be present and love the gang members. Being an amazing tattoo artist, he also had the opportunity to redo tattoos for gang members who wanted to rid themselves of the reminder of the life they used to live. A very powerful thing for these guys, and also very dangerous. If you deny your gang family, it’s grounds for getting yourself killed. Meeting Craig after hearing so much about him from Tita was just so great and getting tattoos from his shop just meant so much to us. Lifelong bonds…

This morning Alex, Ben, and myself were with the Vineyard Central crew right here at Norwood while Bill, Cherie, Miyah, Donnie, and Monica went to D.G.’s church in Florence for their 2 services. I’m waiting to hear how their time went there because we’re all supposed to be laying down right now since there’s been an over abundance of excitement and an under abundance of sleep. Of course I’m too excited to sleep, my mind just won’t stop, and I’m wondering if that’s a bad thing. This morning was just beyond words…setting these sponsor cards out on the table and watching kids, parents, grandparents light up with excitement as they choose a child that they are going to pour into. It personally means so much because I’ve loved all of these kids, I’ve spent 3 months with them, playing with them, praying with them, thinking that I’m pouring into their lives when in reality they are the ones that have completely transformed my life. I came to tears several times just telling them about the child they were sponsoring, it’s just an overwhelming sense of emotions. “I can’t believe this is actually happening, that after years of trying to get sponsors for these amazing children, it’s coming together…I’ve seen these kids lives transformed by love and just knowing how much this is going to impact them seems like too much…I CAN’T WAIT TO TELL TITA!!!…” Thinking of her during the music during the service last night just made me weep. I can’t even express my gratitude that we get to be a part of this. And when I say WE I mean every single person that is praying for this, that is sponsoring a child, that is telling people about Lemonade, that is selling Lemonade at their Lemonade Stands to raise money for these kids, that has a heart for the work that God is doing in La Limonada. Every single person in this Norwood community that has just been so welcoming and so intoxicating to be around, I feel like I’m truly seeing community in the truest form in so many ways. Thank you for letting us be a part of that, if even for a short time, it has changed me.

The kids at V.C. set up their Lemonade stand this morning and raised $106.69 and they could not have been more excited to just give as much as they could for these children that they love and have never even met. They also wrote letters to Tita and the kids to send to Guatemala. I was blown away by just how giving they are.

There have been so many deep and meaningful conversations, so many connections, so many laughs, so many tears, so many hugs, so many new faces in these past couple days that I feel like this could last me a lifetime. I know I will be soaking this all in for quite some time. There is so much more to come in this lifetime and so many more connections and friendships that will be made...

Love this crew at the Brownhouse...

Monica has come back to NC with us for the week and I am absolutely LOVING that she is here...

click here for some 'nati road trip pics!

movin on...

2008-07-27T09:50:00.010-04:00

I feel like life is moving by at warp speed right now, and I need to slow down, take a deep breath, take this all in, and document it so I don't forget all the amazing things that God is doing right now...

4 days after the yard sale, I loaded up what was left of my belongings and moved in with Crop, and what a HUGELY (is that even a word?) fun transition it has been. I highly recommend living with your best friend at some point in life, it's super fun and so encouraging and always good for some laughs.

(this was our first night at official roommates, hence the numero uno.)

Since then several people have asked me what it's like to sell pretty much everything you own (minus some clothing, laptop, and photography gear) and honestly, it hasn't even phased me. I'm not sure if I should type "yet" here or not, but it's just such a great feeling letting all of that go, my life literally feels lighter without all of my possessions tying me down. I feel like I haven't even really looked back at

what I used to have, because my life is so fulfilled with love, with friendships, with just living and loving to my maximum, and meeting some amazing people along the way. It excites me to think that in shedding off all that material excess baggage I am moving towards and preparing for the life of being a complete nomad. At least at this stage in my life. (So I don't completely freak my parents out, let me add here that being a complete nomad does not mean I will never come back and visit. :) I mean, isn't that what Jesus did? Isn't that who I want to live to be like? It just makes complete sense to me right now.

God wants to use me in Guatemala, get rid of all that's tying you down to get there.

Lemonade International is unfolding more and more each day and it's very exciting for us! We (Bill, Cherie, the fam, Donnie, & I) have plans to be in Ohio August 7-11th to hang with our amazing friends at Vineyard Norwood and have our first official showing of the short film that Donnie flew to Guatemala to film. We're very excited to be able to spread awareness of the school in La Limonada and raise support to help with the cause and mission there. I'm plugging away on finishing the support cards of all 205 kids at the school so they can start being distributed to their sponsors. Very exciting stuff!!! With all that is happening, there is still so much to be done. With my personality it's easy for me to feel overwhelmed because I want so badly to be working on all the dreams I feel like God is putting on my heart for Lemonade, Guatemala, etc., but I'm realizing that I can only do so much, and these dreams that seem way beyond anything any of us can accomplish, well that's where God steps in.

I don't want to work towards something and dream about something that could be done on my own, where is the need for God in that? That's what makes me feel like this dream and passion for Lemonade is God moving through people who are willing to be used, because it's way beyond anything we could ever pull off on our own...

So keep on keep dreamin.

(or truckin as Frank Ricard would say. :)

complete & udder...

2008-07-12T23:28:00.017-04:00

shock.

awe.

amazement.

...are just a few words that come to mind right now.

Today was the (in)famous yard sale that everyone I know is so sick of hearing about because it's all I've been talking about for the last couple weeks. :) In pursuing my dream of missional living in Guatemala working with Tita and the community of La Limonada, I've decided that the right direction for me to be moving in is to sell all of my belongings to get there. So I've spent

the last weeks packing up my place and getting it all ready to go.

(I'm moving in with my best friend "Crop" and my goal is to be living in Guatemala by January.)

I've definitely gone through my breakdowns and "what the heck am I

doing moments" because I feel like I've been packing up my entire life to leave behind in a sense.

And in a sense, I am.

I'm not packing to move, I'm packing to sell everything, and that's something I've never done before. I'm realizing that I'm not particularly attached to my stuff, but I am attached to the memory that's attached to my stuff.

And in realizing that, I'm also realizing that I still have that memory, I don't need the material possession to keep that.

It's been really nostalgic for me to think about moving here, to Raleigh, almost 2 years ago and everything that entailed. A crew from PA helping me move (Dan tha man, Tunyez, Chrome, Sulli, Jazzy-that is a weekend I still and will always treasure), a 24 foot moving truck that was filled to the max, making a home here for the past 2 years, and building AMAZING friendships...

I think back over the past 2 years and I am just SO grateful for the people God has brought into my life, and is continuing to bring into my life.

And not even just the past 2 years, I think about all of the PA crew

and those amazing relationships and how they have continued on and grown deeper even through the distance.

I truly believe a big part of me moving here was, and is, preparation for me to be in Guatemala long term. I think I needed to get a glimpse of what it's like to let everything go that you're comfortable with, (a photography business, the familiarity of home, friends, family, church community) and step out into a life of faith in unfamiliar territory. How can I claim to be a barbarian if

I always stick with the safe, civilized way? I knew that I knew that I knew that I was supposed to be here in Raleigh, and feeling like I'm

just hitting the tip of the iceberg as to why, is just overwhelming to me (in a good way!) Thinking back over some really hard, painful times since moving here and realizing what God was teaching me through all of that, and the lessons that have been learned, and are still being learned is just so incredible.

It's crazy for me to think of the direction that God has been leading my life. I came here with a ton of possessions, and I'm planning on leaving with basically none.

Today was so incredible, my entire material life as I've known it went out on my front lawn to be sold, and it was the most freeing, liberating thing I think I've ever experienced. It was so exciting to watch where all of it was going, to explain to people why I'm selling all of my possessions to get back to La Limonada, to see peoples eyes light up when they came to the yard sale wanting to talk about their connection to Guatemala, to watch all of my amazing friends come out to help and hang (shout out to the 5:30 am crew, the Shaba crew, the Merge crew, CROP!, basically anyone I know that came to support the purpose behind this yard sale, I truly COULD NOT have done this without you!) I am literally brought to tears at the thought of how awesome today was and how God was working in so many ways, and in so many ways that I don't even realize. I had dinner tonight with an amazing friend and she asked me what it felt like to watch everything I own get sold today, and I can't even really put words on it. In one sense it doesn't feel like a big deal what-so-ever because that's just what I'm supposed to be doing right now. In another sense it feels like such a monumental part of my life. Just letting it all go and realizing that God is completely fulfilling my life without all of this stuff is incredible.

I simply remember the immense need in La Limonada and why I'm doing what I'm doing to get back there.

It's just so worth it.

There's nothing else I could imagine doing with my life right now.

I LOVE exactly where God has me.

There is such purpose in being here.

I want to be fully present, not so focused on the future that I'm ignoring what's right in front of me.

It just feels so exhilarating to be living NOW.

I've just been so inspired lately by the friends that I'm surrounded with and how they are choosing to live out their faith. How they are taking bold leaps into unknown territory and doing it with everything they've got, and putting incredible amounts of love and genuineness into following their passions. Bill, Cherie, and the fam you are true examples to me and the impact God is using you for will ripple out for a long time and reach so many, I truly believe that.

Thank you for letting me be on this journey with you.

I can't wait to see where God takes this because he has already taken it so far...

"...so many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiation to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future."

-chris mccandless

i think

awe

pretty much sums it up right now.

click for yard sale pics :)

thought i'd share...

2008-07-03T16:28:00.002-04:00

what I thought was a really neat shot Katie got of me photographing Carolyn & Brad's ceremony a couple weeks ago at Duke Chapel. They quickly became great friends which I love!

Wow...SO MUCH is happening right now with Lemonade that I don't even know where to start typing about it! REALLY exciting stuff though, more to come on that soon!

the don is here...again.

2008-06-17T16:12:00.005-04:00

except in N.C. this time and not Guatemala,

yet.

Donnie flew into Raleigh last night for 4 days to work with Bill, Cherie and I on the Lemonade International website.

Lemonade International:

(Spanish translation: La Limonada)

The stateside based non-profit that we (Tita, Bill, Cherie, Donnie, and I) have started to basically help Tita in any way we can from here, and obviously also from Guatemala when I get there. Our initial goals are getting all 205 children at the school in La Limonada sponsored, and being the U.S. contact for short-term trips going there.

Bill, Donnie, and I have been working on finalizing all the text, design and photography for the website which we are VERY excited about and also VERY delirious from sitting in this coffee shop all day.

(see photo below...)

www.lemonadeinternational.org

coming soon!!!

Laura to Matt 6.7.08

2008-06-09T14:38:00.014-04:00

that's what Laura & Matt's program said at their wedding this past Saturday,

Laura to Matt

I don't know why but I just really loved that.

It's crazy to think about how fortunate I feel like I have been to have had such amazing people to photograph lately.

I feel like I'm personally connecting and to me, that's what it's all about.

Katie (my awesome 2nd photographer!) and I were in Greensboro this past weekend and we had such a blast with Laura, Matt and their super fun families. Here are a few of my favorites so far...

I just loved this moment between Laura and her mom Pam...

Matt just could not stop looking at her the entire ceremony, it was awesome...

LOVED these moments between them for their first dance...

Laura and Matt thanks for giving us such great images to capture and being such a fun couple!

carolyn & brad 5.31.08

2008-06-01T16:28:00.007-04:00

This wedding in particular was very special to me. Carolyn and I kept in a lot of contact while I was in Guatemala, she kept up on my blog and was so excited about what I was doing, and that means so much. One of the first things she said to me on Saturday was

"I can't wait for you to be back there." She was asking me about certain people from pictures on my blog and we laughed about how she knows about what's going on in my life, she told me

"I'm in your life, you're not getting rid of me".

I don't want to! :)

We braved the hottest day of the year so far in North Carolina and trekked our way all across the Duke Campus for some amazing shots...

a date with Miyah

2008-05-30T23:27:00.008-04:00

I took Miyah to the park for the afternoon and what a gorgeous day it was. It was so great to just be outside having no agenda and no place to be for a couple hours. Not to mention I get to have a blast and act like a kid with this awesome girl!

I thought I had a lot of energy, she's hard to keep up with but so much fun to spend time with.

Acting like a kid for an afternoon is oh so much fun... :)

finally...

2008-05-30T12:51:00.002-04:00

Thank you for taking the time to view these images, they are obviously very near and dear to my heart. :)

Today more than usual I've really really REALLY been missing the kids in Guatemala. Not only the kids, just the community of La Limonada, my family there, the teachers, pretty much everything there I can think of. Sooooo, I decided to go through my images from my time there and pick my favorites. Ha! I should have known that would not be any easy task. How do you narrow down 3 months worth of work, especially when the photography is of people I absolutely adore?

So I threw on a hoodie, busted out Sigur Ros on my ipod, brewed some tea, and went to town. Why I didn't do this sooner, I don't know because it was so therapeutic to look through these images, it just took me right back to every single moment when I snapped these shots. It's healing in a way for me to have these, it helps my heart not hurt so badly because there is a piece of La Limonada here with me. Hours and thousands of pictures later I have about 60 images that I feel like really depict my time there.
More than anything with my photography I want to use it to really make a difference in people's lives. If that's by having a gallery show to raise money for Tita's ministry in La Limonada, I'll do it. If it's someday publishing a book with this photography and the incredible stories of these people, I'll do it. Their story needs to be told. If it's something I haven't thought of yet, I'll do it.

I want to move forward with some type of photography project with these, just not sure where to begin...
For now, I'll share them with you, and hopefully you'll share them with someone else. :)

finding joy in it all...

2008-05-25T14:19:00.006-04:00

I was sitting at my kitchen table yesterday eating a bowl of cherries and I had a thought that made me laugh out loud to myself, (which isn't that unusual):
"I love eating cherries, it just makes me happy."
And then I started looking around the room at other things that made me happy...
sunflowers
friends
pictures from the kids in guatemala
lil maggs
smiling
...and the list just seemed to continue.

I've been finding it so refreshing lately that I do have the choice to find joy in it all.
The everyday things,
the little things,
anything.
A walk with a friend, a good laugh with a co-worker, a big hug, the sunshine, music, I think I'm just realizing more and more that God really IS everywhere. I know that's a concept that I've heard all my life but I'm really starting to FEEL that, and that's exhilarating.

Finding joy in everyday is a choice, a choice that I'm deciding to make. Do I think that will eliminate all hurt and pain from my life? Definitely not. Trying to follow this dream that God has put on my heart to move to Guatemala definitely has it's hardships. Some days I feel like I'm kidding myself and most days I am taking steps (although sometimes they feel like such small steps) to be back there.

I guess I'm just trying to say that God has really been opening my eyes to finding joy HERE even though most of the time my heart feels like it's there. He's not just in Guatemala, He's everywhere and I'm so thankful for that.

life and love

2008-05-07T22:10:00.006-04:00

I know this is a different post than you're used to seeing on here, and different than I'm used to posting, but...
this blog is about life and love and what that entails.
This past weekend marked my first wedding photographing since I've been back from Guatemala and what a great way to start the season.
Meet Sarah and Ed.
They're crazy in love with each other and it shows and it's refreshing.
I love that I have the privilege of capturing that for them.

It's been an interesting transition to go from photographing the poverty in Guatemala for 3 months to the stark contrast of capturing the beauty of a wedding.
I'm realizing more and more how thankful I am for the gift I feel like I've been given of seeing beauty in everything and capturing that through photography.
Here are some of my favorite snaps from this weekend...

Thanks Sarah & Ed for making my job easy. :)

some happenings...

2008-04-28T23:16:00.009-04:00

You may remember Michelle and Nathan.
I absolutely adore them.
Tita saw them the other day and when they asked about me, Tita told them I was having a hard time readjusting back home, so they wanted to pray for me.
I just love these pictures of them.

I've really been missing the blogs that I would post while I was in Guatemala. There's something therapuetic to me to be able to process my thoughts in a tangible way and then be able to go back and reread them...

Every morning since I've been back I wake up with this little twinge of sadness. I quickly try to shake it off feeling guilty that I'm not thankful for my life here, but I'm coming to realize that it's not going away for a reason. I am very thankful for my life here, I have amazing friends and family and so many things to be thankful for, but this continual discomfort in being here, I think there is a big reason for it. It keeps my passion for going back even more fueled. I keep struggling with what my purpose is in being back and I'm learning that I don't have to figure that out. It's not up to me to figure out, but it is up to me to listen to what is being pressed so deeply into my heart. Somedays it just seems easier to pull the covers back over my head then to get up and face a day that is just so painful at times because I miss the people of La Limonada so incredibly much. I feel very alone at times because I can hardly understand what I feel much less try to explain it to a friend who cares. Luckily I have amazing friends who will just sit and listen to me talk about La Limonada and all the amazing stories, memories, and people there.

It's crazy how God can absolutely break your heart
for something
for someone
for a certain place
for the work He wants to do through you
for a call on your life that cannot be ignored

As much as I wish I was back in Guatemala right now I know that time will come and I know I have to be patient.
Patience is hard when your heart wants something so badly.

As painful as it is to be away I know and trust that God has a plan for all this. I don't want to be so focused on the future that I'm ignoring what's in front of me right now. I don't want to look back and feel like I wasn't present in the moments of my life. For it's those little moments that seem to be the sweetest.

I am taking steps to be back in Guatemala for at least a year, but most likely as long as I feel like I'm supposed to be there. In August I am moving out of my apartment, selling as much of my stuff as possible, and moving in with my amazingly awesome friend Crop. (first name Rachel, last name Cropper, we call her Crop.) I am extremely excited to live my last months in Raleigh with a best friend, while saving money to go back. WOW...this is no joke, I'm moving out, I'm getting rid of all the baggage and I'm trying to move to Guatemala to chase after this dream God put on my heart. It's so exciting and sometimes so scary all at the same time. But mostly exciting. :)

The yellow room picture is my room in Tita's house that she keeps telling me is waiting for me. I can't wait!!!

With the non-profit Lemonade International (spanish translation: La Limonada) moving along and getting started we are very excited to help Tita in any way we can. Bill, Cherie, Donnie, and I have been brainstorming and dreaming together and things are starting to happen, and it's so exciting. I am trying to get another gallery show together from the images from my time in Guatemala to help raise money to support my move there. I'm just really excited to see how God is going to unfold all of this because I know He can see how everything is going to work out even if I have no clue, and that is so exciting to me...

"it will cost nothing to dream and everything not to"

a note from Tita...

2008-04-16T10:12:00.003-04:00

Tita asked me to post this in my blog...

Dear Leah's crowd :)

I know you have an idea how things are here; people just reject people from the Ghetto (La Limonada) and God is willing and desiring to raise them up, but God NEEDS people to do it. Is not easy to find people that wants to BE with them as Leah was here while she share with them… she was so passionate about everything she did, people felt so blessed and loved through Leah, her joy and passion for all she do make things sooooooo excellent.

So, I need you to pray for her, she wants to be with us and we DO need her so badly for the extension on HIS Kingdom and healing souls, (it is so fair) so, you are there with her and you may pray and put all the effort that you CAN to help her. PLEASE ☺

I know that if you see the way that she loves everybody here and the way that she wants to please God you will be so so proud of her and help her right away. We need her here not because of what she does but because of who she is.

Please, I need you to help US helping her… here is people that needs what God put in her heart ☺

Love you all from the bottom of my heart (coz Leah talk so much about you all)

Tita

what would you do...

2008-04-08T11:59:00.003-04:00

when asked by someone a couple weeks ago...

"what would you do if you knew you could not fail?"

I thought about it for a few minutes, came up with some world changing ideas, and then moved on with my day assuming it was just one of those questions that really makes you think.

But the more I have thought about it over the past couple weeks, the more that question doesn't seem so crazy after all. It wasn't until I actually sat down and wrote out what my answer would be, that it kinda made sense.

..."every single person in La Limonada would know and feel the redeeming love of God and realize how tangible that love is through relation with His son. I want them to feel so overwhelmingly loved that they have the strength to rise above their horrible circumstances. I want every gang member to start spreading the message of that love instead of killing. I want them to redeem each other through their actions instead of creating new gang members. I want them to know that cycle of life can be broken. I want every case of sexual abuse to stop and for God to step in and start that healing process. I want this part of Guatemala City that ultimately no one wants anything to do with, to infect the city with their love..."

After the work that I have seen God doing there in just 3 months that doesn't seem so far fetched after all. I may never see the day when that will all come to pass but I believe it will happen and I will give everything I have to work towards that...

the best phone call ever...

2008-04-01T23:56:00.004-04:00

I was sitting at a coffee shop this afternoon journaling and day dreaming about Guatemala when I saw that Tita was calling me...
I gasped, my roommate looked at me like I was nuts, and I ran outside to answer only to be surprised by not hearing Tita's voice on the other end, but Samuel's!
After much giggling and we had run out of Spanglish sayings that we could understand he just sat on the phone and blew me kisses which just absolutely made me melt.
Jenn peaked out the window of the coffee shop to see I think the biggest smile I've had in a long time. It was just so amazing to hear his voice, it instantly took me right back there.

He wanted to send me a hug so Tita took this picture to send to me. That's definitely getting put up on the fridge asap. :)

I really feel lately that God is calling me to lead a life of greater sacrifice NOW, not just when I go back to Guatemala. I'm just praying and asking guidance for what that looks like.
I just want to be ready and willing for whatever I'm supposed to be doing now, because I know there is great purpose in it all.
To start, I'm going to start looking for another roommate. My room is ridiculously too big for one person so I'm looking for 2 girls to hopefully move in, take my room, and I'll take what is the living space right now as my room. Yes I love my space, yes I love the way I have it set up, but ultimately I'm just so grateful that I'm able to live in a place that I love.
I'll give it up to go back though...
And if someone else moves in that will start the ball rolling for me to sell my stuff and put that towards going back.
Anyone need some furniture? :)

perfect memory...

2008-03-27T23:29:00.004-04:00

In going through my pictures for the past couple days, this is definitely one of my favorites. It is such a joyful vivid memory that I can almost feel myself right there in that moment again...

"To live wide awake is not about finding a way around the suffering or difficulties of life. It is stepping into the life God has for you. To live fully is not contingent on how long we live. Or even any of the measures we commonly use to measure success. Maybe there is something greater than happiness or prosperity, or wealth or prestige. Maybe there are dreams so powerful they are not worth living without."

change...

2008-03-24T14:09:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop just thinking and reflecting over these past months. I've been back in Raleigh for 2 weeks now and it's definitely been a readjustment. I know that people are praying for me because I can feel it and I am so grateful and thankful for that.

I can't really put exact words on what I'm feeling, but I do know that God definitely changed something in me. I can't go back to the same way I was before spending 3 months growing and learning and loving with those in Guatemala.

I know that's a good thing.

I know I'm growing.

I know it's a painful process at times.

I know that I don't know what the future holds but I trust that God is good and He has a plan for it all.

I know I want to be fully present wherever God has me at this time.

I know I don't have it all together and I desperately need the grace that He gives me daily.

There are some days when I feel like I've been given enough strength to continue with the work God has me doing here, and there are other days when I would give anything to be back in La Limonada where I left my heart.

These are a couple quotes from the book I'm reading right now...

"Life is not a color-within-the-lines project; life is a work of art. You have to keep mixing colors, creating new blends, and seeing things in fresh ways. And you must be willing to get paint all over you. Life is about growth. Growth demands change. Change requires humility. Sometimes you need to bring change; sometimes you need to be changed."

"When you are loved you no longer fear change nor are you afraid to change. When you love you are willing to embrace to sacrifice of change and make the differences to change. When you live a life of love you are not bound to who you are but to who you will become. Love transforms. It leaves nothing it touches as it was before its caress. The only thing you need to change is love."

it's been a week...

2008-03-16T22:51:00.005-04:00

I feel like it's been an eternity since I've left Guatemala because I miss being there so much. But when I close my eyes I feel like I can hear Samuel's laughter and see all the children's smiles. It hurts to be away from them. The first couple days were a rough transition, I kept waking up in the morning thinking I had to get up and go to school and then realized I was back in Raleigh. Not a bad realization, just different. You get used to life in another country when you're there for 3 months...

Crop and I are in PA for the weekend and having a blast. It's been really refreshing for me to see friends and family since I was away for the holidays and hadn't seen anyone for a long time. We've seen a lot of friends, laughed A LOT, and have been enjoying the company of some of the closest people to me. Also been showing Crop "a walk down Leah Lane" from all my child memories of where I grew up. Good times...

We're heading back to Raleigh on Tuesday...

I've been praying a lot about my readjustment, it's been hard to not call Tita about every 5 minutes when I think of her. I'll just randomly laugh thinking about a funny memory from the past 3 months and then share it with whoever is in ear shot, thanks for listening. :)

I know that I'm back now for a reason and I have new assignments here that need to be completed, but when you get a taste of what God has called you to do with your life, there really is nothing else I could imagine doing.

I truly believe my call right now is loving and living among the beautiful people of La Limonada.

Whatever I need to do here to move towards that, I will do. I'm praying for the courage to stay excited when I feel discouraged, to remember my calling when it doesn't make sense to others, to stay focused when I could easily be distracted by things that don't matter, to fight the urge to be cynical when I need to be compassionate to those who don't understand.

I know God will give me the necessary strength and the gift to find joy in all situations. I was told be a very close friend the other day that he believes that God has gifted me to find joy in all situations, what a huge compliment...

trying to readjust...

2008-03-11T11:39:00.003-04:00

It's 11:41 am and I just got up, I can't remember the last time I slept this late.

I got back into NC late Sunday night to a warm welcome from friends with signs and balloons at the airport, it was a really nice surprise to see people that I missed so much. Yesterday I kinda just felt like a zombie, I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself, I'm still not.
It's really hard to not be at school with all those kids that still have my heart.
I feel like my body is here but my heart and mind are still there. I know a piece of me will stay there and I know that my mind and heart will start functioning here again,
I'm just praying for some type of balance because I feel so torn leaving.

I feel so excited to be seeing family and friends here, but I also feel so sad not being in Guatemala, how is it possible to have such extremely opposite emotions at the same time?
Yesterday morning I opened the envelope that Monica gave me before I left, she made me promise I would wait to open it until I got home. There were letters from the teachers and pictures that each child drew of me and them. In every picture I had yellow hair and was holding a camera, they're definitely getting hung up in my house. :)

I feel like I need to come back to life here, but I feel like I'm a different person than before I left. I want to be fully present with where I am now, but I also know I need to give myself time. Where I've been and what I've experienced for the last 3 months has been completely different than what I'm used to. I'm praying for guidance to combine those 2 worlds so I can go on with what God has me doing here...until I return there.

heading back to NC...

2008-03-09T11:29:00.004-04:00

Yesterday when I was saying goodbye to Samuel I was hugging him and he let out this huge sigh, he's 6, and said "Leah I'll love you for a hundred years." We're leaving for the airport now, I just wanted to share this story with you...

31 years...31 kids...31 miles

So I have this amazing friend Brady. He decided for his birthday this year he would run further than he ever has before (26.2 miles). And since he was turning 31, why not run 31 miles? Him and his wife Jasmine have been supporting the school in La Limonada for about 4 years. Even though they have never physically been here, they have such a huge heart for these kids.

Brady decided to raise money for the school through his birthday run. Tita, Monica and I keep saying we need crazy people who are in love with Jesus to do the work here.

31 years...31 kids...31 miles

What an amazing way to be alive and what an amazing way to love...

"it was incredible! I can't believe it, God truly carried me through it and it showed so much when I got to the marathon mark (mile 26.2) and I still felt great. I had friends running with me for 28 out of the 31 miles, encouraging me and helping me along. I learned so much about God and leaning on Him for strength to make it through my training. I prayed for Jesus to move my legs when I didn't think they would go any further, to make it to the end of my training runs. But my birthday run was so different, I felt like I could keep going at the end, I felt great. I felt like the run was the celebration that God gave me because of all the hard work I put in before, because of how I leaned on Him so much to get there and how I trusted Him to have prepared me for what I needed to do. It was so beautiful."

-brady

packing up...

2008-03-07T21:07:00.007-05:00

What a special day...this morning at the teachers meeting Monica translated for me as I told them all just how special they are to me, they are the heroes of La Limonada I believe. They do this work day in and day out and love these kids so much. You can see such a difference in their lives just from feeling loved by someone. I am so honored to have been a part of this team if even for a short time. 4 years ago when I came here for the first time I felt like I got a glimpse of what God wanted me to do with my life, and now having been here for the past 3 months, I can't imagine wanting to do anything else. I believe this is the purpose he has for me right now...it may include going back for a time but I really believe I'll be back. I know there are new things that I need to be doing in the states to help this ministry and I'll do that as long as necessary, knowing that a BIG part of my heart is here.

This afternoon after running around and playing I had to say goodbye to all the kids, they took turns lining up and giving me besos and brazos (kisses and hugs :) but most of the time the line fell apart and there were 5 kids hanging on me at one time. I can't say that I minded at all. It was a long process because I didn't want to let any of them go! As painful as it is for me to leave, Tita told me it's going to be painful for them too, that they enjoy so much the love that I give them and the joy that I have. That made me cry even more. I don't understand how it's possible for me to love each one of them so deeply, but I don't care to understand it, I just want to continue to love them. For now though it just has to be from a distance...

Tomorrow morning is the breakfast that I extended my trip for. We're very excited about raising awareness and support here in Guatemala about La Limonada. After that Tita's family is having a goodbye lunch for me, which is just so nice of them. They completely accepted and welcomed me from the first moment I met them, I feel like I'm leaving a part of my family. I just couldn't bring myself to say bye to Nora and her boys knowing that I would still be here for a couple days so we're going to La Limonada tomorrow afternoon so I can spend my last day here with them. Geez, I just love them so stinking much! :)

I have to get back to packing, such a weird feeling...

a turtle named Leah...

2008-03-06T21:19:00.005-05:00

Today was another day spent with the kids as much as possible. We went to school this morning and as usual I sat outside with them to give as many hugs and kisses as I could before they went into their classes. Then Tita and I went to visit some families in the community and I said some more goodbyes. We stopped at Nora's and they had all the pictures hanging on the wall that I gave them yesterday, such a special thing.

Yoli's class, the 4 and 5 year olds, got a class pet today, a turtle. When Yoli was asking them what they wanted to name it they came up with 3 different names to choose from so Yoli wrote the 3 of them on the board so each child could give their choice.

She told me all the check marks went under the name Leah, they all decided to name their turtle after me and when she told me I cried. I have to laugh about it now thinking about crying over a turtle, obviously it was the meaning behind it. :)

Tita and I took some time together this afternoon and went to Antigua for lunch. We spent some really nice time just talking and reflecting over the past 3 months, thanking her for the amazing influence she's been to me over the past months, and how patient she's been with me. I know it's not easy to love me unconditionally but she's done and is doing such an amazing job, and I'm so thankful. I'm going to miss that constant encouragement but I know God knows the people we need in our lives.

Tonight I'm putting the finishing touches on the power point for Saturday's breakfast, which I've been working on for what feels like forever. I'm so excited that it's done! :)

Tomorrow morning is my last teachers meeting and I'm excited to tell them all how much they mean to me, even though I think they already know...

starting to say goodbye...

2008-03-05T21:56:00.003-05:00

I'm trying to find the right words to type but there really isn't any to explain right now...

Today I starting saying goodbye to some of the people in La Limonada that I am especially close with. Luis, Rudy, Lester...I know I will see them again but it was just painful to know that I won't be in their everyday lives for awhile.

We bought Rudy a cd player and the audio new testament and he absolutely loved it, he was so excited and it was so adorable.

From the second I met Nora and "the clan" as we've lovingly named her family, I knew that there was something so special about them. Oliver, Herber, Jose, Samuel, Ezekial, and little Grace have some of the most caring, tender hearts I've ever seen, even in the midst of what feels like a desperate life. My love has grown so much deeper for them over these past 3 months and the thought of not being near them just hurts.

I wanted to do something special with the whole family before I left so today we took all of them to Burger King for lunch and we had such a blast. Eating, laughing, playing, and just enjoying each other's company, Nora has been struggling with depression lately so it was so nice to see her smiling and genuinely enjoying herself. I was telling them how special they all are to me and how much they've changed my life just by allowing me to love them and I just lost it. I don't want to say goodbye, but I know I have to right now...

At school this afternoon the kids decided to draw pictures for me and write me letters and it just blew me away, they came running up to me one at a time so excited to give me these treasures. They truly are the best gifts I have ever received. Bryan (8 years old) was writing "I love you Leah" on the board, I really have never felt so loved. The love these kids have to give is so beautiful to me, I wish I had words to explain it. My note from Karla was this...

"Miss Lia (they like to spell my name all different ways :), I love you because you are so welcome in our classroom and I love you like you were my mom and you are my best friend. I love you so much Miss Lia."

part of my journal entry from last night...

"...comfort my heart as I readjust to life in the U.S. but allow a continual discomfort so that I will continue to want to be the change. I know it's going to be painful, but I also know it's worth it. If just one life, one soul, felt your love from me being here, it's all worth it because I know once someone feels your tangible love, life is never the same. I will never be the same from seeing you in every child's face. All these kids want is to be loved and being able to do that for the last 3 months has completely changed my life. They have shown me what is is to have hope in the midst of their hell, they have shown me beauty in the midst of sorrow. All the pain that I feel being apart from them is worth it to spend just one minute with them...I'm praying that I can spend the rest of my life with them..."

just a few days...

2008-03-03T21:25:00.005-05:00

Wow, I can't believe I'm leaving in 6 days...

this week is filled with finishing up all my photography projects, getting everything ready for the breakfast on Saturday, spending as much time with the kids as possible, and getting all my paperwork ready to go back to the states.

Since I was here over 3 months I had to go to the embassy today to get a paper authenticated that says I have permission to enter into the U.S. again. I was given the option to extend my stay for 90 days without having to obtain residency here, and I laughed because I was considering it.

Tita said everyone in NC and PA would come after her if I did that. :) On that note, I can't wait to see everyone when I come home!

I am soaking up every moment of my last week here, just the thought of leaving brings me to tears so I won't think about it right now. I know there is great purpose in me going back at this time, I feel like there are new assignments God has given me that I need to complete. A lot of it having to do with raising awareness of La Limonada...documentary in the making! :)

For those of you who remember Reina from an earlier blog around Christmas time, she had her surgery on Saturday to remove the rapidly growing brain tumor, and everything went better than we could have hoped for. Since her surgery was completely paid for she was able to have it by the best surgeon in Guatemala in a hospital that was nicer than anything I've ever seen.

The surgery was successful in removing the entire tumor and she's going home tomorrow.

That is amazing to me! She had surgery on Saturday, was supposed to be in intensive care for 5 days, but is well enough to go home tomorrow. What a huge answer to prayer...

journey...

2008-03-01T21:24:00.008-05:00

The great thing about today was that Donnie and I finished filming for the documentary this morning. The sad thing about today was we took him to the airport shortly after that. Wow, where did those 10 days go? It felt like a part of our family was leaving. As much as we wanted him to stay, and were seriously considering changing his plane ticket for him last night, :) we know that we'll all be back here again.

Being able to dream about what God is doing in our hearts for La Limonada was just so great and so big and so encouraging and so huge all at the same time.

I really believe this documentary is just the beginning of a lifelong journey...

Whether you're here for 10 days, 3 months, or a lifetime, something in you just can't be the same, life doesn't go back to normal after being here.

At least not for me...

The dreams that I feel God is putting on my heart are so way beyond anything I could ever do. To me that's the most exciting part though, because he has to be in the center of it all to even fathom the things he calls us to do.

The way he intersects peoples lives and knits their hearts together for his plans, it just amazes me.

"God longs for in a shepherd-someone daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love."

-brennan manning

i absolutely adore her...

2008-02-28T22:36:00.002-05:00

Jenny and I sat outside of the school today just laughing and playing and enjoying the afternoon sun...

I wish I could freeze these moments in time.

the market...

2008-02-27T19:08:00.006-05:00

This afternoon we took some time to go to the city market for some fresh fruit and just to walk around. Tita had us trying all kinds of fruit, all of which were really tasty even though I had no clue what I was eating. :)

We walked over to the palace (in the background of picture below), but couldn't get in at that time so we just played around outside in the sun. We fed pigeons, chased pigeons, and enjoyed talking to "the pigeon man".

It was a super fun afternoon together.

reconstruction...

2008-02-27T11:18:00.002-05:00

Let the rebuilding begin...

As you might have read from an earlier post, The Tzun family lost their entire home in a fire about a month ago. The 4 of them, Lydia, Cindy, Shirley and Ashley have been living in the basement of a relative since then in extremely tight quarters.

This week the reconstruction started for their new home. Coca (the "builder" in La Limonada) and his team of neighborhood workers have been working diligently. Nora's oldest son Oliver has been helping Coca and seems to be enjoying the work. We spent one afternoon carrying those cement blocks you see in the picture from one end of the community to the other. The women were carrying them on their head! I'm not that talented. :)

It's a very exciting time to see a new home being rebuilt that has been completely paid for from some people that were moved to action by their love.

More pics to come before I leave!

documentary rolling...

2008-02-27T02:14:00.003-05:00

We've been super busy these past couple days, not just with the documentary in the making, but most importantly spending time with these beautiful kids and people of La Limonada.

Today we went and prayed for a man who was shot last week by a gang member who's trying to take over an entire area of La Limonada so he's just shooting everyone who lives there. And then I prayed for a 14 year old gang member who was shot in the chest last week and wants a different way of life. He sees light and wants out of the darkness, he wants to choose life over violence.

It seems almost impossible to capture the beauty in the midst of what sometimes seems like hell for those who live there, but Don and I are trusting that somehow this story will be told.

That there is hope in the darkness.

If this documentary turns out anything like it looks in our heads, wow, it's going to be powerful.

Sigh...I can't help but feel incredibly sad that I'm leaving in less than 2 weeks. There is still so much to be done before I go, but aside from what needs to be done, it's going to be so painful to go.

I've loved these people more deeply than I ever thought possible and being a part of their lives has brought me so much joy, it's truly what I believe I'm supposed to be doing with my life. You come here thinking you're going to help people, that you're going to make a difference, that you're going to love more than it makes sense and give more than you thought possible.

It is these beautiful people who have helped me, made a difference in my life, loved me more than it makes sense, gave me more than I thought possible and have truly shown me what it means to not live for yourself.

And that's such a beautiful thing.

The Don is here...

2008-02-24T19:49:00.003-05:00

Donnie flew in on Thursday and jumped right into our daily life here...

We picked him up from the airport and took him to La Limonada to see the school and the community.

We talked about the hope in the midst of the hell there and how we can convey that to people who have never had the chance of being there.

We've been dreaming and brainstorming since he got here and we're going to start filming tomorrow for the documentary.

We're totally psyched about it, I'll keep you posted!

Grace

2008-02-21T22:13:00.003-05:00

Nora had her beautiful baby girl on Sunday evening. We visited her this morning and she decided to name her Grace. We got to spend time with her and pray with her. She came home from the hospital yesterday and she's doing really well.

She has 5 proud big brothers that love holding her and giving her attention.

"Grace" by U2

Grace, she takes the blame

She covers the shame

Removes the stain

It could be here name

Grace, it's the name for a girl

It's also a thought that could change the world

And when she walks on the street you can hear the strings

Grace finds goodness in everything

Grace, she's got the walk

Not on a ramp or on chalk

She's got the time to talk

She travels outside of karma, karma

She travels outside of karma

When she goes to work you can hear the strings

Grace finds beauty in everything

Grace, she carries a world on her hips

No champagne flute for her lips

No twirls or skips between her fingertips

She carries a pearl in perfect condition

What once was hurt

What once was friction

What left a mark no longer stings

Because Grace makes beauty out of ugly things

Grace finds beauty in everything

Grace finds goodness in everything

2008-02-20T19:49:00.005-05:00

To take the way of Jesus seriously is to realize that the best question is,

"what can I give?"

Because all of us can give something - here, now, today, and then tomorrow and then the next day.

What can you do to be more generous? What is the next step for you?

You have been blessed. What can you give?

May you come to see that you're rich. And your possessions, they're luxuries that most of the people in the world don't have.

And may you do what Jesus says, may you step into your divine responsibility to give, and when you do,

may you take hold of the life that is truly life.

-rob bell

sigh...

2008-02-19T21:23:00.002-05:00

I'm finally feeling better, I feel like all I've done for the past 2 days is sleep and it has me feeling pretty restless...I'm anxious to get back into the swing of things and be back to normal.

Although Tita would argue I'm pretty far from normal. :)

This is Nathan and I think he's the most adorable child I've ever seen. Ok I'm a little bias because I love him so much...

He's too young to be at the school yet but everyday I walk past his house to play with him and when he sees me coming he just giggles.

Wow, I don't know how I'm going to leave these wonderful souls...

Myra, Shirley, Suzy & Jocelyn

2008-02-18T19:32:00.011-05:00

These are the beautiful girls that myself, and Bill & Cherie have had the privilege of supporting since we came here together in 2004. What better way to spend a day then being with them? I can't think of anything better. :)

Saturday we picked the 4 of them up and took them to Play Zone and had a blast. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun in the ball pit. We were in there for literally 2 hours just laughing and being kids and causing a little bit of a ruckus.

(I tend to do that, but just a little bit.)

We thought it would be fun to celebrate their birthdays since we were all here together so we took them shopping to pick out an outfit and a pair of shoes. I think they were overwhelmed with all the possibilities but they eventually all picked out their favorites and we just enjoyed watching their excitement.

Then we took them for birthday cake where we sang to all of them, very loudly, :) and just loved watching them radiate. It was so obvious that they felt so special.

The thing that meant the most to me that day was listening to Bill tell Suzy and Jocelyn that him and Cherie want to support them to go to high school and when they graduate, Bill & Cherie promise to be here. But not only when they graduate, they promise to be here for them as long as God will allow them.

That just moved me to tears because no one has ever told these girls that.

"I love you and I promise to be here for you no matter what."

I think it moves me so much because it's exactly what Jesus says to us...

It was an amazing day, one that I will never forget.

Bill and Cherie flew back home yesterday, that visit went way too quickly, but was such a sweet time.

And I am fighting yet another stomach virus, good times.

oh the joy...

2008-02-16T00:11:00.004-05:00

of familiar faces.

Bill and Cherie flew in yesterday from NC and it's just been so great to have them here. Not only are they amazing friends that I miss so much, but we share such a heart connection for the people of Guatemala and especially of La Limonada, that's it's almost impossible to contain our excitement of the dreams God is putting on our hearts.

My first trip to Guatemala 4 years ago was with them and a group of young adults...

who could have imagined how much God would break my heart for this place and these people?

I couldn't have!

Now, 4 years later, the desire in our hearts to be among these people has grown even stronger, what an amazing thing to share with some of your closest friends.

We've been spending time at the school and just being in the community spending time with people. Today we went to visit Rudy (you read about him in a former blog!) and after telling us that he (Rudy) was so thankful that we were visiting him, that it was just beautiful that we were there he told us

"you came into our world today...and I like that."

Just being with these people, praying with them, laughing with them, crying with them, listening to their stories, listening to their heartache, watching God truly transform their hearts and their minds, it's so much more than I could have ever imagined or asked for.

It's truly amazing to be in their world.

We got to spend a couple minutes with Luis and he gave Bill his necklace as a present. To have nothing and still be so willing to give...

it's just so beautiful.

adorable...

2008-02-13T15:59:00.003-05:00

Geez, how is it possible to love them so stinking much?

:) :) :)

I've been working on editing the school pictures I've been taking and wanted to share because they're just too cute to keep to myself.

seeing the good...

2008-02-12T21:44:00.005-05:00

We went to visit Lester in the hospital today.

He is a former gang member who got shot in his leg a couple of years ago and is waiting to have surgery since his leg has gotten infected.

I was telling Tita how I just can't see how there was that side to him, the violence of being in a gang, because I see such a kind, gentle heart in him.

I watched him show such care and concern for his roommate in the hospital, Pedro.

(the 3 of us in the picture...)

I listened as other patients stopped at his door just to say hi to him because they know they'll get a warm smile.

I see so much good in him.

Jesus didn't see a prostitute, He saw a woman that was hurting and had compassion on her.

He didn't see a thief hanging next to him, He saw a man that was desperate for forgiveness.

He didn't see a poor woman that others were offended by, He saw a woman who gave everything she had to Him.

The poor, the orphaned, the oppressed, He saw them as human beings.

He loves us exactly the way we are, but He loves us too much to let us stay that way.

He sees the good in us.

I believe when we live to be like Him, he allows us to see the beauty in people when others see the broken.

It is not up to us to change people, that is beyond our ability. But it is up to us to love others exactly where they are and lead them to the only one who sees so much beauty in them.

The one who will love them when they've been rejected their entire lives.

If I can be a small part of that on this earth, I will gladly give the rest of my life to that.

"I do not think I have any special qualities. I don't claim anything for the work. It is His work. I am like a little pencil in His hand, that is all. He does the thinking. He does the writing. The pencil has nothing to do with it. The pencil has only to be allowed to be used."

-mother teresa

"I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers, you did for me."

matt. 25:40